Archive for the ‘Work Trauma’ Category

We had a fire drill today at work. I knew it was coming. They sent us emails telling us exactly what time it would start, where to go, what to do.  No big deal, right?

Today we were also asked to wear red, white, and blue in honour of those who lost their lives and loved ones on 9/11/01, and we all stood for a minute of silence at 9:11 this morning.  I was very moved, and felt for that minute that I was a part of something much greater, and it was a good feeling.

And then I sat down and went back to work, trying to get as much done as I could before the fire drill.  My heart started pounding a little faster, and I obsessively kept checking to make sure I had my handbag and everything I needed inside it. The ubiquitous they said we shouldn’t stop to grab our things. Well, having recently been through a fire where I didn’t grab my handbag made me determined that it, at least, was going out the door with me.

The alarm still managed to startle me when it went off, but I got my handbag, went out the door, and walked to the far end of the parking lot, where I plopped my backside on the grass and realized I was in the middle of a full-fledged anxiety attack.  It was about 2 hours, long after I was back at my desk and working, before my heart rate finally slowed to normal.

It’s been a really rough day. 

The vet said that Scout’s levels have improved somewhat, but not enough for him to be able to come home yet. So they’re continuing to flood him with fluids in the hopes that the kidney failure was because he got into something toxic, and that he can recover as much as possible. But if it is chronic kidney failure, his kidneys are (as of about 8:30 this morning) working at only 30%, which is not good.  We’re continuing to pray, of course. The thought of losing him is just not to be tolerated right now.

And as I sat to write this post, my heart rate sped up again, and I’m feeling not my best. I’m glad it’s Friday. I need a good weekend, and I need my little Scout boy to heal.


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It is absolutely possible to be both insanely busy and terribly bored at the same time. 

I know this first-hand because I’m engaged in a long task that keeps me very busy, but it doesn’t really have to engage my brain. So I’m bored. And busy.

That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled life.

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Mondays can be rough days anyway, what with having had a presumably pleasant weekend away from work. If the weekend was less than pleasant, that can affect the Monday.

Month-end can be a really rough day. My month end is always the first working day after the last day of the month. A lot of changes were made last month, and some of the reports did not come out correctly.

Today is both Monday (I know, I know, technically it’s Tuesday, but trust me, it’s the Mondayest Tuesday I’ve ever seen) and month-end. And true to form, it’s a disastrous one. I began it by oversleeping. When I woke up at 6:44 this morning, I got a mad case of the hiccups while I was racing through the house trying to get dressed and out the door in negative 10 minutes. I hiccupped half the way to work, as well, but they did finally subside. Knowing that I needed a dose of caffeine, I hit the coke machine, which refused uncategorically to take my totally legal $5 bill. So I raced into the mailroom, where the lovely Nancy gave me change. I was only 7 minutes late for work, which is a major record, considering not only the lateness of the hour but the hiccups as well. Dude, I don’t get dainty little feminine hiccups. I get the kind that shake your whole core and echo and make total strangers giggle madly at me. Nasty things.

Oh and we get a jeans day today. Normally not a huge deal anymore, and I do have jeans that fit. What I no longer have is an unmauled pair of trainers. Scout got the last pair last night while I was drunkenly watching an episode of Inspector Alleyn on Netflix. Okay, not drunken as in alcohol, but drunken as in I had taken my meds and was about to fall asleep at any time, hence my not noticing that he was going to town on my last unmauled pair of trainers. If you saw the shoes I’m wearing today, you’d laugh. You could totally tell my dog ate a goodly portion of one of them.

And true to form, the reports didn’t run properly. People are asking odd questions including why today’s report didn’t come out right, but the date on the report she gave me was from two weeks ago and I got very confused. And I have 3 new reports to possibly create if I can’t get someone else to do them. Not that I’m not happy to do them, but if the other person can get them created they’ll automatically run off every morning. If I create them, it will entail a lot of manual extrapolation from other reports, thus drastically increasing the opoprtunity for error.

And I was supposed to go to the library at lunchtime with the lovely Jehara; however, in my mad dash out the house, I didn’t have time to collect the library books from the living room and the bedroom and the bathroom. So she graciously agreed that we could go tomorrow.

Okay. So now I’m going to take a deep breath, a long slug of Coke, and hit it again. Have a good day, all. Peace out. (ha!)

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I just learned I can’t listen to Bob Marley while I’m at work.

I may have previously mentioned that my job is extremely boring. So when I’ve got a stack of work, I usually listen to my iPod. It keeps me conscious when the job itself is trying to bore me to sleep. So I had it on as I was finishing up the credit bureau requests. And I printed some anniversary certificates. And then Exodus came on.

First I started lightly tapping my wrist rest. Before I knew what was happening, I was pounding away playing virtual keyboards and drumming on my wrist rest with great enthusiasm. And then one of the managers walked by my office and looked in with a funny grin on her face.


I’d already gotten caught jamming; a manager told me to “rock out.” I didn’t think I was being that obvious. Guess I was.


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Another work annoyance

I’m the queen of reports. About a week and a half to two weeks ago, I was given an assignment to run a query every morning and send the report from that query to a manager at another location. I have faithfully done just that. So yesterday she contacts my VP and whinges that she hasn’t been getting any of the reports.

I have to clean out my sent-folder every day because I do massive amounts of emails, so the one I still had a record of was yesterday’s. So I sent it to her again with a note asking her that if she doesn’t get the report on any given day to please call me. But this time I sent it requesting a delivered receipt and a read receipt. It was delivered to her mailbox yesterday.

This morning I had a “deleted without being read” receipt. That pissed me off. So I’ve been sending them to her every day, and she’s been deleting them without reading my e-mails. So I sent that receipt to my manager, and she got it to the VP.  I received a halfassed apology and she said she’ll work our accounts from now on.

The word bitcah just isn’t strong enough here. That annoys me greatly. I do a damn good job, even though I am bored out of my skull in this position. They have always had two people working this office, and that was before we got the extra crapload of accounts we have that keeps me so busy. When I leave it will definitely take 2 people to replace me. So how dare that woman just not even look at my emails, and delete them, and then try to make problems for me with my vp? 

Grrrr Arr

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Grumpety Grump Grump

Joe called me this past weekend with a great idea. Take two days off either before or after Labor Day, and fly out to San Jose to spend a little mini-vacation with him there. Yay! I figured there’d be no way I could realistically expect to take off after Labor Day, because I have all the usual month-end reports and month-beginning CBR rushes. But the last two days of August? Sure.

Fast forward to this morning, and a big ol’ fat pin to burst my balloon. I can’t take off the last two days in August because I have to be here to do my job. They need me. I should feel flattered, but I just feel blue and grumpy.  My boss offered to let me take off a day and a half after Labor Day, but I know I would seriously regret it when I came back to see the mounds of CBR requests that would be waiting here for me.

So I don’t know. At first Joe said he’d just come back here that weekend, but then I asked him to see if he can find a flight for me that would leave Friday after work and come back on Monday. I’d only be able to be there for two whole days, but it’s better than a kick in the pants, right? Of course, I don’t know if he’ll be able to find a reasonably priced flight, so it could still end up not happening.

And I’m crazy busy at work (thank goodness for breaks), and it’s the weirdest sensation to be simultaneously frantically busy and hideously bored.  So I’m just kind of a crabapple today, which sucks, because I had a fantastic weekend and was feeling great today until my vacation balloon got popped.

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And Joe’s leaving this morning for another few weeks. It’s the first morning I cried when I had to say good-bye, so I guess this is getting to me a little bit.  He’s planning on coming home every two weeks for a long weekend, and I almost don’t want him to do that just because saying good-bye is getting harder. But I don’t want to tell him not to come home when he’s the one miserable because he’s away. So I’m just going to deal. But if I leak a few tears this morning, you’ll have to bear with me.

We got a free jeans and sneakers day at work, always something to enjoy. Furthermore, they’re actually letting us wear tee-shirts. So I’m wearing my lovely MoMentuM tee-shirt. I can’t resist the sales pitches–“You like my tee-shirt? Thanks! You can get your very own from Cafe Press, and support MoMentuM at the same time!”  Poeple will be actively avoiding me by the end of the day! It really is very comfortable; I foresee it becoming my gym shirt.

So Joe’s gone again; it’s going to be at least 2 1/2 weeks (if not longer) before he gets home next time. So beyond my wanting to completely veg out tonight (but I am going to the gym before I veg), I’m asking myself what I can accomplish in his absence. The smell is almost gone; the only room that still stinks is the bathroom. And if I leave the bathroom door shut and the window wide open all night in there, it is tolerable enough that I can manage to take a shower. So I’m not going to be doing a deep scrub of the bathroom until the stench is completely gone. But I can get the kitchen and dining area cleaned up the rest of the way. The kitchen is mostly clean, but he’s been storing all kinds of stuff in our dining area.  I wanted to get it out the last time he was gone, but didn’t know what to do with it. I asked him a few days ago, and he was quite vague about it. So I made an executive decision. Anything that doesn’t belong in the house itself but that we do need, I will go ahead and box up and put into the SUV so he can haul it off to our storage unit when he returns. Or hell, maybe I’ll enlist the strong arms of Izzybella and Soleil, and get them to help me haul it off. Either way, I’m so tired of not being able to eat in our dining area because it’s full of all kinds of crap that shouldn’t be there. I think I can get that done while he’s gone for this first period. It’ll be quite a chore, but it’s doable.

You know, he always tells me that old saw about many hands making light work, but I find it very annoying to try to clean house with him. I’d rather work fast and sort and clean and junk, and he questions everything I do. Maybe that’s why it’s annoying. He thinks I should use a different cleanser or he wants me to put something somewhere else or he wants us to work on one room when I want to do something different. So as much as I loathe doing housework, I almost kind of look forward to doing it while he’s gone.

I’ve got a couple of rooms that need painting, but I’m really sucky at painting. They’re not going to get done right away, but I can see working on it after I get the cleaning done. My robins-egg-blue kitchen walls have GOT to go. I’m not a robins-egg-blue-with-picket-fence-and-birdhouses type person anymore (never was, really, but that’s when I was trying desperately to fit in).

I’m looking forward to autumn and winter. I love the cold months of the year, the holidays, all the fun things about it. It’d be really nice to go into the holidays this year having the house already cleaned.

I can’t believe I’m such a slob that I have to set these types of goals. It’s embarrassing to have to admit to myself. But even Joe agrees with me that it’s less slobbiness (although that’s definitely a factor) and more that we still have way too much crap in the house that we don’t need. I’ll be making plenty of runs to Good Will over the next few months. And I’ve got to get more bookshelves so that I’ve got places for my books; makes them easier to find when they’re shelved than when they’re piled up all over the floors in various rooms.  And I’d like to find some way to organize his music room.

I’m having to work a fair bit of overtime this month, but otherwise I’m planning to spend a lot of time between the gym and housework. And movies. And the Buffython, whenever that happens. So staying busy, but trying to remember to have fun, too.

I know it’s been forever since I did any writing, but I have a new post up on Seduced by the Muse. And there are a couple of new posts up at Faith’s Journey as well. Stop on by if you’re interested!

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