Archive for the ‘Vanity Thy Name is Faith’ Category

This: I got the dang root canal started yesterday.  Dr. W. got me good and numbed, so I only felt a very little pain just a couple of times.  And it took hours for the numb to wear off, although the pain in the tooth started while the rest of my face was still so numb that I was drooling.  Last night was unpleasant, to say the least. I made scrambled eggs and toast for dinner (my smaller tummy ate a little egg and half a piece of toast), and I will confess to splurging on a slice of carrot cake, although I won’t be doing that again. I have to go back in a week or so so that they can make sure all of the infection is completely gone, and then he’ll finish it.  I bought the pilot episode for the Stargate series, so I put that on last night to try to take my mind off the misery.  Joe looked at me, and wanted to know if I was eating too much.  I said no, and asked why he thought that.  Apparently in my lack of comfort, I was kicking back and letting it all hang out.  And when I’m letting it all hang out, I resemble Buddha. So I guess I had that going on last night in addition to the pain in my mouth.

That: I was dreaming last night that in the course of 5 or 10 minutes, I ate all of the icing, the filling, and the top layer of a layer cake. Is it because I felt guilty over the slice of carrot cake I had last night? Because trust me when I tell you there is no way I could eat more than a smallish piece of cake, much less an entire layer and a gallon of frosting. And speaking of frosting, in the dream I commented to myself that I’d have been better off buying a can of frosting and eating it. Not only that, but in the dream I remember looking at all of the cakes, and almost picking up a small cake, but then bought the full size layer cake. Cuh-razy, no?

The Other: I’m wearing a dress today. I never wear dresses to work, and for good reason–our dress code is business casual, with emphasis on the casual. But I think my jeggings are in the wash, and the jeans I wore yesterday are so baggy they are having trouble staying up, and I got a really cute new dress so I figured what the hey.  Well, I always used to wear dresses that hit mid-shin, and this one is about knee-length. It’s a faux wrap dress, with shirring across the front, that makes me look as if I have a figure. I like that. And with Catherine making it acceptable once more to wear nylons, my legs look better than if I were going bare-legged. Which I wouldn’t, because my legs are white, white, white. I mean glow-in-the-dark white. White. Ghostly white. Pale, in fact, beyond the pale. Got it? Okay.  I’m also wearing a pair of heels I bought at Payless because all of my lovely gorgeous sexy heels are at the house and I haven’t been permitted yet to remove them, and don’t know if I will. So I’m feeling rather self conscious today. Every time I get up to go to the restroom or the break room for ice, I am vividly aware of my high heels and bare (except for nylons) legs. Honestly–I couldn’t tell you the last time I wore a dress this short. Maybe I was 12 or 13? It’s been a while. So I’ve got legs. And they’re rather shapely, despite being far larger than I want them to be. 

So there you have it. This, that, and the other (which is what my mom always said when we were out running errands when I was a kid, unless she said we were going hither, thither, and yon.  My mom is a wee titch poetic.)

You may now return to your regularly scheduled day. I hope it’s a good one.

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When I had my last visit with my bariatric surgeon’s office, Monday last, they said my official tally is 65 pounds lost. I have to say right here, however, that according to my scale at home, it’s only 55 pounds. Apparently whenever they were doing one of the weigh-ins, I was bloated. 10 pounds worth of bloat.


Anyway, 55 pounds or 65 pounds, however you slice it, is a nice tidy chunk of weight lost. I’m happy about that.

And then this weekend I found myself at Penney’s. Amazing how that happens, you just find yourself somewhere like that. And I was picking out clothes to try on. It’s nice that dresses are kind of making a comeback, thanks to some fantastic television shows (which shows that television is actually good for something), and I tried on a couple of dresses, size 18, and they fit, and one of them was even quite flattering on me. I’m planning on wearing it to work tomorrow. And I got a pair of pants, also size 18. And I got a new top, a 1X.  I picked up, in addition, a pair of black pumps from Payless (where I rarely go, but it’s nice to be able to buy 9 wides instead of 9-1/2 or 10’s, which are too long, but are the only way I can get shoes wide enough for my fat footsies).

Bear in mind that when I started I was wearing tight size 24’s and loose size 26’s. That means 4X. And now I’m in 18s and 1-2X’s depending upon the cut.

I’m happy about that.

There’s still a long way to go, and I’m enjoying the journey, even if it does make my tongue hurt (stinkin’ grapes and pineapple) and even if it does take a little longer because I’m enjoying a couple of double-stuffed golden oreos in a day.

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I Want These Shoes!!!!!

crazy shoes - doctor who - tardis - shoes - Identity Crisis

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It does appear as though the direction we’re taking is rebuilding the house. Joe was there yesterday evening with the adjusters and mooring company, and they’re going to be gutting the house either tomorrow or Monday. And instead of it taking 2-3 months, as they originally estimated, it’s now looking more like 4-5 months. In other words, we’ll be lucky to be home by Christmas.

Joe got my wedding ring out for me, as it had been left in my jewelry armoire that will have to be replaced. And he got SGB’s manuscript off my brand new dresser that will have to be replaced. Are you sensing a theme here? Yes, the furniture is going to have to go. Even the brand new stuff that we got last Saturday. Less than a week ago, it was, and yet it seems a lifetime.

On the positive side: the hotel is just 10 minutes from my office. I can only hope the apartment they put us into next will be as close. Another perk of being in the hotel: free breakfast. Someone else doing the linens and making the beds. Clean towels every day. That’s good, right? And we get to have the dogs with us. (Poor babies–they’re so discombobulated they don’t know what to make of things. And how do you explain it to them? I’ve tried, but you know, they’re dogs, probably not understanding anything I say.)

Other positives: I get to go buy new clothes. And shoes. And at least one more handbag. My house on the inside will be all new. I get to buy new furniture. Yes, I’ve already started looking. (Hey! Stop laughing! Yeah, it may be 4 or 5 months until I get to go buy that new furniture, but if I start looking now, I’ll have a good idea what I want and where to find it when the time comes.) And new makeup. Sephora, here I come! And a new piano.

It’s just that when you try to sit down and think of everything that you’ve lost, it can be very overwhelming. I was making lists yesterday, and they only covered the bare minimum of what was in any given room. All my junk jewelry–cheaper to replace than to try to clean. The 3 or 4 fascinators I never got to wear–will the smoke smell ever come out of them? A basketful of scarves. My books. Notes from my Shakespeare & Chaucer classes (just in case I ever decide to teach English). Journals. Blank books. Note cards, stationery, books where I’ve scribbled down favourite recipes. Cookbooks. Beautiful leather-bound very expensive books about the Crusades and various medieval writers. All my numerous copies of The Canterbury Tales. Notes from my Dante class. My grandmother’s journals (which I devoutly hope are in our storage unit but I’m afraid they might not be). Photographs. Holiday decorations. Mostly things that others would attach no value to, but to me are priceless. The clothes that I was planning to pass along to the incomparable Izzybella or Sarah-bear. The clothes I’ve been saving as I’m on my journey to smaller sizes.  All my beautiful shoes–the cream brocade grannie boots, the black lace guess do-me heels, my bitch boots, all the wedges and heels I’ve been purchasing over the last 6 months or so. And my handbags–most of them comparatively inexpensive, but still hard to replace.

Heck, even my bathroom scale! I don’t know how I’m doing weight-wise, because I haven’t been able to weigh myself since last Sunday morning! I know I’ve been doing some stress eating, but compared to what it would have been pre-banding, it’s absolutely nothing. But I like seeing the numbers on the scale every day. It keeps me focused.

The ugliest bridesmaid dress ever, that I was going to take to the cleaners and then sell on e-bay. Now I guess I’ll just stomp on it and let it be thrown away. The most beautiful formal that Izzybella got some years ago, and that I swore I would someday wear. The baby christening gown and blanket made by my grandmother years ago, that I was planning to pass down to my niece when she’s old enough to have children, that my stepsister’s daughter was blessed in, that Izzybella was blessed in. That I won’t throw away, of course. I will make every effort to have it restored because that, too, is priceless.

And the most treasured things of all are the memories. Memories of Molly, when we first brought her home, with her adorable afro, lying on the floor doing the Molly Flop. Stan gnawing my shoe that was bigger than he was. Molly burying full bags of Joe’s Christmas candy in the back yard. Chase putting on Joe’s heavy gloves and heading for the fireplace, startled when he was stopped, and explained, “I Joe!” Chase seeing me pour out the dregs of a milk carton for his brother, and started bellowing, “Milk! Milk!” and not calming down until he saw me take a full milk carton out of the refrigerator. Alannah and Kyle climbing the tree in our back yard. Chase wandering around nakey after his baby pool-soaked diaper fell off. Christmas Eves with Ben & Janine and their kids. Clover coming to give me a shot in the butt when I was doing IVF trying to have kids. Danny and I, staying up all night after watching Blair Witch Project because we were too spooked to turn the lights off. Crying my heart out in the long days after the IVF failed. Molly peeing on an area rug right after we told Joe’s friends from Australia that she was a good dog and never tinkled in the house. Christmas after Christmas after Christmas. Joe making huge pots of mashed potatoes for Christmas dinner. Joe making huge pots of mashed potatoes for the two of us, and danged if we didn’t manage to eat every bite. Molly being incensed at Mom’s being allowed in the then-yellow room, when she wasn’t, and defiantly going in there to tinkle the day Mom left. The bathroom door constantly coming out of its hinges. That Christmas morning when I sent Molly in to wake up Izzybella, and she enthusiastically complied, jumping onto Izzy’s stomach and kissing her face. The day I drop-kicked a multi-pack of Wolf chili because I was in a snit, and dang near broke my toe. Joe playing guitar so loudly that I could hear it from the inside of my car as I pulled into the driveway. MoMeNTuM meetings. Jehara bringing me my beautiful awesome wonderful zen box that’s now smoked out. Dancing in the living room with Joe. Dancing in the living room with Molly. Having Molly join me when I was practicing yoga in the living room. Spending three months sleeping on the recliner in the living room after having had knee replacement surgery. Laughter, tears, arguments, hugs, kisses, joy, sorrow–the soon-to-be-torn-down walls of our home are replete with the emotions and events from the past 13 years. Those things can’t be replaced. But the new walls will be erected, and in 13 years, we’ll have 13 years worth of memories to look back on.

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How do you typically dress to run errands? Do you think bloggers dress better or worse than “regular people”?


I have to look good whenever I leave the house. I’m lazy about wearing makeup, but I think I make up for it with my clothes and handbags.  Like Saturday, f’rinstance. I wore a really cute tunic with a pair of skinny jeans that are rapidly becoming too loose on me (see Lessons Learned the Hard Way, Part 914 for further details).

I’ve never felt comfortable wearing manky clothes, although I will wear them if I’m cleaning house (which means I virtually never wear them, but let’s not go there) just because I hate getting bleach or dirt or splashing cleaning solutions all over my good shirts. Once in a very long while I’ll make a Sonic run with my manky clothes on, but that’s because I never have to get out of the car so no one will see me except the car hop, who doesn’t care what I’m wearing as long as I give a nice little tip. Which I sometimes do, and sometimes don’t, because they don’t have a tip line on the credit card receipt, and it annoys me having to tip them because I’m sure they’re getting a decent wage but if it’s really hot or if it’s really cold, I’ll give a nice little tip anyway just because it’s such awful weather. Which has nothing to do with my appearance, but there you go.

As far as how bloggers dress, I figure they wear what’s comfortable and what they like. And they should so totally go for it!


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I’m doing better today, which is nice. I hate feeling sick and tend to get rather whiney about it.

Still have lots to do, especially due to getting behinder than I already was thanks to feeling puny for a couple of days, so it should be a very busy weekend.

Thanks for the good thoughts. 🙂

In other fronts, remember when I said I was going to go for several months without buying new shoes?  Um, I’ve already bought 2 or 3 pairs since then and show no signs of stopping. Like, I got a $10 coupon from DSW, and when I got there they were giving something like 500 bonus points if you bought certain brands of shoes. And Madden Girl was one of the brands, and I had my eye on a particular pair anyway, so it would have just been silly not to buy them. And I found some great fuschia pumps at Marshall’s for only $20, and they totally rock, so it would have just been silly not to buy them.  As soon as my husband gets home with the camera, I shall declare a shoe week and post photos of all of my lovely, lovely shoes. Although considering how many I have, it may have to be a shoe fortnight.

Hi. My name is Faith, and I’m a shoe-a-holic.

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Mondays can be rough days anyway, what with having had a presumably pleasant weekend away from work. If the weekend was less than pleasant, that can affect the Monday.

Month-end can be a really rough day. My month end is always the first working day after the last day of the month. A lot of changes were made last month, and some of the reports did not come out correctly.

Today is both Monday (I know, I know, technically it’s Tuesday, but trust me, it’s the Mondayest Tuesday I’ve ever seen) and month-end. And true to form, it’s a disastrous one. I began it by oversleeping. When I woke up at 6:44 this morning, I got a mad case of the hiccups while I was racing through the house trying to get dressed and out the door in negative 10 minutes. I hiccupped half the way to work, as well, but they did finally subside. Knowing that I needed a dose of caffeine, I hit the coke machine, which refused uncategorically to take my totally legal $5 bill. So I raced into the mailroom, where the lovely Nancy gave me change. I was only 7 minutes late for work, which is a major record, considering not only the lateness of the hour but the hiccups as well. Dude, I don’t get dainty little feminine hiccups. I get the kind that shake your whole core and echo and make total strangers giggle madly at me. Nasty things.

Oh and we get a jeans day today. Normally not a huge deal anymore, and I do have jeans that fit. What I no longer have is an unmauled pair of trainers. Scout got the last pair last night while I was drunkenly watching an episode of Inspector Alleyn on Netflix. Okay, not drunken as in alcohol, but drunken as in I had taken my meds and was about to fall asleep at any time, hence my not noticing that he was going to town on my last unmauled pair of trainers. If you saw the shoes I’m wearing today, you’d laugh. You could totally tell my dog ate a goodly portion of one of them.

And true to form, the reports didn’t run properly. People are asking odd questions including why today’s report didn’t come out right, but the date on the report she gave me was from two weeks ago and I got very confused. And I have 3 new reports to possibly create if I can’t get someone else to do them. Not that I’m not happy to do them, but if the other person can get them created they’ll automatically run off every morning. If I create them, it will entail a lot of manual extrapolation from other reports, thus drastically increasing the opoprtunity for error.

And I was supposed to go to the library at lunchtime with the lovely Jehara; however, in my mad dash out the house, I didn’t have time to collect the library books from the living room and the bedroom and the bathroom. So she graciously agreed that we could go tomorrow.

Okay. So now I’m going to take a deep breath, a long slug of Coke, and hit it again. Have a good day, all. Peace out. (ha!)

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Scout going to town on my new sandals. I’ve had them for a week, and have worn them perhaps 4 times.

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom

And just for bonus cuteness, here’s my Molly-girl.

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Guess who’s typing this post on a lovely new notebook pc?  I am truly thrilled with this fantastic machine. Our old desktop computer has never worked very well, but over the last year or so it’s just gotten ridiculous. I know that we can probably get someone to work on it and figure out the problems–and we will–but I’ve been wanting a notebook for a very long time.  And Joe decided it was time to get me one. We went together on Thursday night and picked one out, but the store didn’t have mine in stock. He went yesterday and, instead of getting the one we picked out, got an even better one for me.

I was up until 3 playing with my new toy. My old PC would take 15-20 minutes to boot up and get the internet opened up. My new PC boots up in less than a minute, and the internet is open even more quickly. So now when I’m researching property management and paranoid schizophrenia for a book, I can actually get it done! Woot!

Other news: when I went to Weight Watchers last Monday, I found that I’d gained 2.9 pounds over the holidays. That’s not great, but compared to the damage I could have done, I didn’t complain. I’ve been doing great this week with Weight Watchers, and feel better. I hate having to relearn the same lessons over and over again, and keep hoping eventually I’ll get it. I always feel better when I eat well, and when I’m getting plenty of activity. So why do I keep returning to the foods that make me feel horrible, make me fat, make my cholesterol shoot through the roof? I don’t know. I just need to keep reminding myself how much better it is to stay healthy and eat right.

In a very impulsive moment, I went and got my hair chopped off 2 weeks ago. I hate it. Not having shorter hair, that I like. No, I hate that I showed the stylist a specific photo of what I wanted, and didn’t get it. It’s a good cut, don’t get me wrong. But it looks like a soccer mom bob, not an “I’m a rebel with spiky hair” person. So I’m looking forward to its growing out a bit so I can get it cut the way I want it. And yes, the purple or blue lowlights are still coming sometime this year. But they’d look beyond stupid with this soccer mom bob. Grrr.

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New Shoes!

Reason 693,432,098 why I love my husband:

After dinner on Friday night, he said, “Let’s go get you a new pair of shoes!” I didn’t need new shoes, but hey–I love shoes.  And I found the cutest pair ever! They’re heeled lace-up oxfords, black and patent leather mixed. They are so awesome!!! The pictures don’t really do them justice, but take a look anyway.



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