This, That, & the Other

THIS:

I still feel crappy. Not bad enough to stay home from work, but bad enough to wish I had. I’ve got plenty of Odwalla C Monsters, soups, juice, etc. No, Mom, I haven’t had too much sugar.  I have, however, been incredibly stressed & depressed. So that could have my immune system perhaps working a little less than optimal.

THAT:

When I got home yesterday, Joe hadn’t yet gone to the grocery store and gotten my C Monsters or soup. So we went together. Wow. When I go by myself, I might spend $30-$40. I won’t say just how much we spent, but it was a LOT more. I got a couple of C Monsters, 4 cans of soup. He went nuts with the Amy’s and another brand of soup, and got me all kinds of lovely vegan and vegetarian soups. They were more expensive than my Progresso soups, know what I mean? I’m not complaining–I’ll definitely enjoy them. Well, most of them anyway. But more on that in a moment.

When we got to the frozen section, because I wanted some frozen fruit bars for sore throat relief, he suddenly frantically said that we needed to get some meat substitutes because he had to cook or he was going to go crazy! So I showed him where the vegetarian frozen stuff was, and he threw a Quorn turkey roast into the cart (I’ve never had this before–if any of you had, I’d appreciate hearing your opinions), along with some veggie meatballs and some Morningstar veggie crumbles. On our way out of the store, I showed him where the tofu and the uncooked hamburger substitute are. He picked up a package of some veggie lunchmeat substitute, and started going on about how too much soy isn’t good for people (?!?). Ok-ay then. Bless his heart, he’s really trying. I’ve told him that I don’t care if he eats meat around me, and I don’t even care if he cooks it at home, but I’m not going to eat it and I’m not going to cook it for him. And I do make use of some of those meat substitutes, but not as much as he seems to think. Mostly I just eat a lot of veggies, grains, and beans. I love me some good beans.

He was going on about how he wanted a roast, and while I was sickened at the thought of having to smell roast cooking in the house, I didn’t say anything to discourage him. But he changed his mind and just got a precooked chicken breast from the deli.

Okay–on to the story about the one can of Amy’s soup that I shan’t enjoy, before I get on to the Other.  When we got home I went to lie down while he put the groceries away and heated up some soup for me. I went into the kitchen because it had been a while, and I was truly hungry, and there were two pots of soup bubbling on the stove. One had what looked like the Amy’s potato and leek soup, and the other was minestrone. Joe looked a little chagrined. It seemed like he’d gotten the brilliant idea to spice up the potato leek soup with–wait for it–steak sauce. Yeah. He handed me a spoon to taste it, and I nearly gagged. It tasted about as good as you might imagine. Needless to say, I had minestrone for dinner.

THE OTHER:

I read The Dark is Rising last night before falling asleep. I had to get the taste of that dreadful movie out of my mouth as quickly as possible. It had been torturing me. What a relief! The book is so brilliant that I cannot understand why they felt the need to take every good thing out of the script. I understand that a book cannot literally be taken word for word to place on the screen. However, there is no need for a book to be mutilated the way this one was, to the point where it’s unrecognizable save for the names of the characters and perhaps one memorable line from the book (that was given to a different character and placed at a different time within). They could have cut 2/3’s of the material and still kept to the heart and soul of the story.

Grumble mumble rumble. Stoopid moovie.

I’m rereading the whole series, while I’m at it. I’m now at The Grey King, and only have Silver on the Tree to go after that. If you haven’t read them, and you enjoy fantasy, you truly should. They’re stellar books.

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My Weekend

It started not very happily (for me) when I got the word that Joe’s company has decided to keep him as their roving trouble shooter. He’s over the moon about it, and I’m happy for him, because he truly enjoys the challenge. He’s said that going back to an on-site position after this would be soul-destroying. So when I say I’m happy for him, I honestly mean that. No, my feelings come from missing him so dreadfully. But he will be home most of the month of October, which will be truly lovely.

Then I was also stressed about almost all of my plans for the weekend falling through. And I’d honestly had a strong feeling we were going to be moving, so that was a disappointment in its own way. Not that I wanted to leave my family & friends, because I don’t, but I was looking forward to new horizons and adventures.

So I was emotionally all over the place during the day. L-squared helped me get a little more even keeled as she helped me see what I could do with the house to feel better about it. And when I got home, Soleil was there for me with a book and a trashy magazine and big hugs. Soleil does great hugs!!! And we had a quick dinner and talked about things before she had to go to work.

I decided for my weekend project to tackle what I call “The Big Ugly,” aka the main bathroom. I rarely go in there for anything but the fastest of showers because the room’s so disgusting. It’s Joe’s domain. He junks it up beyond anything describable. And he almost never throws anything away in there. So on Friday night I got one of those huge heavy-weight contractor’s trash bags and threw away every empty or mostly-empty bottle of shampoo, skin care, whatever. I threw away the stuff we’d tried once or twice and didn’t like. I threw away the stuff with broken lids that we couldn’t get out. I threw away the hairspray with the broken nozzle that sprayed all over your hand instead of your hair. I got rid of the cheap Avon cologne that smelled like, well, I don’t know how to describe what it smelled like.  I threw away the old Q-tips that were laying on the counter, used matches, old cotton balls, newspapers, samples that we’d had in there for untold years. All gone.

That’s what I did on Friday night.

And I cried. And cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. I got two very well-meaning but thoughtlessly worded e-mails from people I love very much and who love me. And in any other mood I’d have been able to shrug off the sting, but on Friday night I was in such a bad place that it was truly frightening. It reminded me of when I had the breakdowns when I was working for CPS. I’d manage to stop crying for an hour or so, and then it would start up all over again.  I had plans to go into the office and work for 3 or 4 hours on Saturday morning, but when I was still awake, and still sporadically crying, at 4 a.m., I knew there was no way. I finally fell asleep between 4 and 4:30, and slept until around 9:30.

I woke up feeling fine. Not great, but fine. I got up, went to the Evil Empire (TM) and bought some cute smallish wicker laundry baskets, some non-adhesive shelf liner, a couple of scrubbing brushes, and went back home to tackle The Big Ugly. I scrubbed the shelves. I lay the non-adhesive shelf liner. I discovered that I could fit two of the cute smallish wicker laundry baskets per shelf. I decided what stuff I would put in which basket where. I had salvaged two laundry hamper-sized baskets that Tom Thumb was getting rid of last week, and I put those in the bottom part of the shelf area; one’s for clean folded towels and the other’s for dirty laundry. And the wash clothes get rolled up and placed into one of the small baskets. All very pretty.

And I scrubbed the tub. We have a very large very old tub, and it’s badly stained. One can scrub for a long time and never make any impact. It was slightly better when I was finished. I, on the other hand, was hot and sweaty. So I took off my clothes and lay on the bed with the a/c blowing on me until I cooled off enough to take a luxurious bath. No, The Big Ugly wasn’t finished yet, but I had a “party” to get ready for and I was stinky from the sweat and the scrubbing. So nice bath with a lovely bath bomb Joe got me from Lush in California, and then I was dressed and out the door.

The banned book party, well, it wasn’t so much a party as a dinner with two other people. We did some book talk and had one game of sorts. I went down a list of the top 100 banned books in the last decade, and the person who had read the most was proclaimed queen of the banned books. She got a tiara and a $10 gift card to Half Price Books. The other person got a bag of banned books, including Baby Be-Bop by Francesca Lia Block, The Great Gatsby, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, and I forget what all else. We talked a bit about the reasons some books were banned, and we exchanged books. I received a copy of Huckleberry Finn, which I haven’t read in ages. I brought Lysistrata, and the other person brought Anne Frank and Walden. So it was all fine as far as that went. I’m sorry more of my friends were unable to make it, but we had a pleasant evening.

Yesterday I sporadically read, and cleaned The Big Ugly. I had to make another trip to the Evil Empire (TM) for a step stool (there was a shelf I couldn’t reach and needed to make use of) and another basket or two. And I got kidnapped by my sister, the incomparable Izzybella, and hauled off to the book store and forced to select a book that she wanted to buy me. Don’t you hate it when people want to buy you books? Yeah. Me neither. Not only that, but she also got me a Godiva dark chocolate bar. Mmmmm. Booky and chocolately goodness, all in one fell swoop. So the only thing left to do in The Big Ugly is to clean the floor and the outside of the toilet. I just flat ran out of time this weekend. But if one looks at where it started–which I’m the only one who did, and Joe of course, because I would never let anyone see it–and looks at where it is now, it’s already so much better one would plotz. So I don’t feel bad about running out of time. Plus, hey, I did a load of laundry to boot.

So I feel pretty good. I had a mini nervous breakdown, almost finished cleaning The Big Ugly, read several books, had dinner out with some friends, and got kidnapped by the incomparable Izzybella and spent time with Soleil. All in all a very eventful weekend.

Oh! and hey, Janet of Fond of Snape tells me I won her book drawing! All with the good there too, right?

Books I read this weekend:

Extras – Scott Westerfeld. The fourth book in the Uglies trilogy. Soleil got it for me. It’s fantastic. Unlike the first three books in the story, Tally is not the main focus of the story. She comes in later on. But she definitely plays an important part. Four thumbs up.

Elsewhere – Gabrielle Zevin. The book that the incomparable Izzybella got for me. It’s fantastic. I really really enjoyed it. Quite an unusual take on the afterlife. Four thumbs up.

Dusted: The Unauthorized Guide to Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Lawrence Miles, Lars Pearson, Christa Dickson. One of the better of the Buffy guides. Yes, I practically know this stuff by heart, but when one is having a mini nervous breakdown, one needs this kind of fluff. Besides. Buffy. Four thumbs up.

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MIA

Sorry that I’ve been missing in action for a while. I’ve truly been feeling lousy.  But I seem to be getting used to the medicines again, as the nausea is wearing off and the constant tiredness is beginning to wear off as well.

Topamax–at least for me–has two major side effects. One of them is positive and one is negative. The positive side effect is that anything carbonated tastes absolutely disgusting. If I try to drink a soda pop, all I can taste is the chemicals. So that’s good. Of course, I’ve replaced my pop addiction with a vitamin water addiction, which is still high calorie, so not so good, but probably slightly better for me. The negative side effect is this absolutely horrendous painful tingling (for want of a better word) that I get in my lower legs and feet. It will come on without any warning and last for what seems an ungodly amount of time. It’s worse than when your foot falls asleep because you were sitting on your leg funnily. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s just awful. But it doesn’t last forever, and it’s worse than constant headaches that no drug can make go away.

The only side effect I’ve noticed with the Effexor XR is the usual side effect of anti depressants, and that would be the lowered libido. And since Joe’s gone all the time, it’s not really a problem.  And it’s better than the depression. So yay and all that jazz.

We’re kind of at a crossroads right now.  We might end up moving. I honestly don’t know what will happen. Whether we stay or go, I’d like to know. This period of indecision is worse than the actual uprooting would be, should that end up being what happens. If we move, it could be to the St. Louis area, or it could be to the North Hollywood CA area. I know what my preference would be, but that doesn’t really mean anything. I could get myself all geared up mentally for a big move, only to end up staying right here. Which would be good as well.

Don’t anyone get all freaked out. At this point it’s just discussion. I promise I’ll let you know as soon as a decision is made.

It would definitely be hard for us to leave here. We’d be leaving family, friends, MoMentuM. But it wouldn’t surprise me if we were to end up going. I feel a change in the air. Something’s coming. If it’s not a move, it’s something else.

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Bye, honey

It’s been a few months, so you’d think I’d be used to it by now.

I’m not.

I’ve been teary off and on all day because Joe left again and I won’t see him again for almost 3 weeks. And to think we’ve got another 5-6 months of this, minimum. Don’t get me wrong–I enjoy having some alone time, but this is a little excessive.  It seems like we’ll invariably have an argument or two over the phone while he’s gone, and then we have a couple of good rip-snorters while he’s here. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s just tension. And I’m getting used to doing things my way without having to justify what “my way” is.

Anyway, I’ll be fine, of course. Tonight I’m planning to watch the Netflix movies that have been at the house for a couple of weeks so I can send them back and get some new ones. And he’ll call me when he gets to the hotel. And tomorrow night the incomparable Izzybella is coming over and we’ll work on our book. Who knows–in a couple of years it could be me leaving him at home while I go with Izzy to promote our book.

Wouldn’t it be nice?!

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Well!

It’s a very good thing that I came in on Saturday and did CBR’s for 4 hours, because I can’t type today:

 

I have these thin, weak peely nails that I can never get to look nice because they rip off at the slightest provocation. So the heck with it! I went on Saturday afternoon and got fake nails put on.  And I like them, honest, but they’re too dang long. I can’t type. Well, I can, because I’m typing this, but not at my usual pace and not with my usual degree of accuracy. Just to illustrate, I won’t fix any typos in the next sentence: The polish colour isn’t the balack it may seem to be i the photograph, but is a lovely shade of aubergine. So today after I get off work, I’m going to go back to the salon and ask them to shorten my nails. I hope they don’t charge me again, because that would really suck.

Yesterday we spent the late afternoon/early evening at Clover’s. I love Clover. She’s an awesome friend. And her kids are great, and her husband is great. It’s always a treat to be able to go over there. Of course, one doesn’t want to go visit them when one has a sinus headache. And boy, did I have a lulu of a sinus headache yesterday. The weather here’s been hot and heavy and humid; it rained a wee bit at our house, but not much. Today it’s rained more. But it’s supposed to be a bad season for us ragweed sufferers. 😦

Oh! And speaking of Clover, her book Upon Eagle’s Light is being released as an e-book on October 12th!  You can get more info at Wild Rose Press. The ISBN is 1-60154-132-5. It’s a good book; I had the honour of reading it while it was still in draft form, and definitely recommend it.  I’ll do an official review after I buy it on the 12th. 🙂  But add it to your list, okay? You won’t regret it.

Joe’s been home since Thursday afternoon, and is scheduled to go back tomorrow. But he’s talking about moving his flight to Wednesday, since he doesn’t particularly want to travel on 9/11. It’s been nice having him around.  I’m planning another trip out there the last weekend of the month, so we can go to San Francisco. He wants to go to Lake Tahoe, but I don’t think we’ll have time. I only have a 3-day weekend, which really only gives us 2 1/2 days to play. And if we spend one day in San Francisco (which we’re going to, because I am insisting on it), that would only leave us 1 1/2 days to drive to & from Lake Tahoe and have some time there. Not much time, I think. I’d rather hang out in the Bay Area. We could go back to Monterey or Carmel or Santa Cruz. I’m in love with the Bay Area. In fact, I wouldn’t mind living there for a while. It’s so gorgeous.

Okay, well, I’m tired of trying to type with these talons. And I have to type all afternoon on CBR’s, so I’m going to use the rest of my lunch break to read. My talons don’t get in the way of turning pages, thank goodness!

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The Luckiest Girl in the World

I am, honest! I have the best friends imaginable.

First of all there’s my blondie-bear, who’s several states and two time zones away from me right now. He called last night all excited because he wants me to take off the 30th & 31st from work and fly out there and spend a long weekend in San Jose. Doesn’t that sound blissful? We haven’t had a vacation-vacation in quite a long time. It seems like the last one was in 1999. Other than that, all our “vacations” have been to visit family or to have family visit here. So I’m really looking forward to it. Now I just have to see if I can arrange to get off work.

Next there’s my awesome sister Izzybella. It might be possible to have a better sister, but I highly doubt it. She has been there for me through everything, and even when we get snippy with each other (which doesn’t happen very often), we’re able to make up super fast. She just put in her notice that she’s leaving her second job, and I’m very happy, because it seems like many times when we want to do something on a Friday or Saturday or Sunday, she has to work. 😦  But she FINALLY realized that it’s all about me, so she quit so I can have her around more! Yay!

Next there’s Soleil. I met Soleil when we had a Shakespeare class together in college. I love our professor, he’s just such a sweetie, and he and I still correspond once in a while. But he has no butt. I swear! I would just sit there during his lectures and stare at him in fascination, wondering how his pants stayed up because the man has no butt! (Yeah, I like the butts on the guys.)  And he also did these hideous little quizzes at the beginning of every class. They’d have questions like “how many hops did Cleopatra take through the town in Act whatever-the-hell-it-was” and of course I didn’t know because Antony and Cleopatra is a hella long play, and I just felt glad to have gotten through it, forget noticing how many hops Cleo took through the town! But I still got an A in his class because I did well on almost all the quizzes and I write a mean 5-paragraph essay. And Soleil and I worked on a class presentation with a couple of other people, and she knew my sister because they were in the theatre department together, and I just fell in love with her. So I was really glad when I got to audition for “What Happened” and ended up getting to spend lots o’ time with her. She’s caring, honest, loving, creative, artistic–in case you can’t tell, I really really love her.  Joe and I have adopted her because we lurve her so much. And she’s sweet and let us adopt her!

And L-squared. She’s my newest sister. And Izzybella and I had a discussion the other day that if A. and L-squared had had the opportunity to know each other, they would have totally loved each other. They’d have probably gotten along better with each other even than with us, and that would have been okay.  So we think that A. is probably totally cool with us adopting L-squared as another sister. L-squared is funny, goofy, sweet, creative, and quirky. We have lots of fun together. Clover was saying last night that L-squared is a really good actor. When I told Clover that this was her first play, she was quite surprised. I hope L-squared does more stuff with us. It’s fun.

Clover is another incredible friend. I’ve raved about her awesomeness on here before, so I’ll try not to repeat myself too much. But she is. Last night we went to Zio’s, home of the best chocolate cake in the world, and ate and drank Cokes and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked. And then we went to see the Simpson’s movie and laughed our asses off. It was fun. And she loans me her kids whenever I need them, which is also pretty cool of her. Of course, she’d probably say that it’s cool of me to take them when I need them, but that’s not so. It’s strictly with the greed on my part! I don’t covet her kids, but I love them madly.

A-banana, Clover’s daughter, is also extremely cool, like her mom and the one of her aunts that I’ve met. We had a good time out shopping today. Okay, let me rephrase that. We had a good time today. It wasn’t so much fun in the mall because hella lotta people there today taking advantage of the sales tax holiday (clothes & shoes & backpacks under $100 per item). And Plato’s Closet was so packed that I couldn’t take it and left A-bandana there to browse and try on clothes while I went next door to Panda and ate a vegetarian spring roll and drink a Dr. Pepper. I’ve known A-montana since she was 2 or 3, and now she’s a lovely teenage girl who is very fun to be with.

V., Soleil’s best friend and “partner in crime” has moved to Ohio, and I’m missing her dreadfully!!  She has had mercy on us, and provided blupdates, but it’s just not the same. I cannot wait until she’s back for the winter holidays, and we’re all sitting at Spiral Diner scarfing hummus (except for Izzybella, who can’t eat the delectable stuff) and talking 90 miles a minute.

 SGW, who was my WW buddy when we were doing WW, is another blessing of a friend. She’s as ornery as I am, and funny. We always have fun together. And we’re working together again on some serious lard-busting. Even that is fun when you’ve got a friend to do it with!

And all my blogfriends, whom I haven’t met in person yet but love nonetheless, you also make me feel really lucky to count you as friends. I read your blogs and share in your life a little bit, and isn’t that what being friends is about? I pray for you, think of you, wonder how you’re doing.

So life is good. I’m happy today. It’s been a great day and I just needed to sit down and count my blessings!

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It’s Wednesday

And Joe’s leaving this morning for another few weeks. It’s the first morning I cried when I had to say good-bye, so I guess this is getting to me a little bit.  He’s planning on coming home every two weeks for a long weekend, and I almost don’t want him to do that just because saying good-bye is getting harder. But I don’t want to tell him not to come home when he’s the one miserable because he’s away. So I’m just going to deal. But if I leak a few tears this morning, you’ll have to bear with me.

We got a free jeans and sneakers day at work, always something to enjoy. Furthermore, they’re actually letting us wear tee-shirts. So I’m wearing my lovely MoMentuM tee-shirt. I can’t resist the sales pitches–“You like my tee-shirt? Thanks! You can get your very own from Cafe Press, and support MoMentuM at the same time!”  Poeple will be actively avoiding me by the end of the day! It really is very comfortable; I foresee it becoming my gym shirt.

So Joe’s gone again; it’s going to be at least 2 1/2 weeks (if not longer) before he gets home next time. So beyond my wanting to completely veg out tonight (but I am going to the gym before I veg), I’m asking myself what I can accomplish in his absence. The smell is almost gone; the only room that still stinks is the bathroom. And if I leave the bathroom door shut and the window wide open all night in there, it is tolerable enough that I can manage to take a shower. So I’m not going to be doing a deep scrub of the bathroom until the stench is completely gone. But I can get the kitchen and dining area cleaned up the rest of the way. The kitchen is mostly clean, but he’s been storing all kinds of stuff in our dining area.  I wanted to get it out the last time he was gone, but didn’t know what to do with it. I asked him a few days ago, and he was quite vague about it. So I made an executive decision. Anything that doesn’t belong in the house itself but that we do need, I will go ahead and box up and put into the SUV so he can haul it off to our storage unit when he returns. Or hell, maybe I’ll enlist the strong arms of Izzybella and Soleil, and get them to help me haul it off. Either way, I’m so tired of not being able to eat in our dining area because it’s full of all kinds of crap that shouldn’t be there. I think I can get that done while he’s gone for this first period. It’ll be quite a chore, but it’s doable.

You know, he always tells me that old saw about many hands making light work, but I find it very annoying to try to clean house with him. I’d rather work fast and sort and clean and junk, and he questions everything I do. Maybe that’s why it’s annoying. He thinks I should use a different cleanser or he wants me to put something somewhere else or he wants us to work on one room when I want to do something different. So as much as I loathe doing housework, I almost kind of look forward to doing it while he’s gone.

I’ve got a couple of rooms that need painting, but I’m really sucky at painting. They’re not going to get done right away, but I can see working on it after I get the cleaning done. My robins-egg-blue kitchen walls have GOT to go. I’m not a robins-egg-blue-with-picket-fence-and-birdhouses type person anymore (never was, really, but that’s when I was trying desperately to fit in).

I’m looking forward to autumn and winter. I love the cold months of the year, the holidays, all the fun things about it. It’d be really nice to go into the holidays this year having the house already cleaned.

I can’t believe I’m such a slob that I have to set these types of goals. It’s embarrassing to have to admit to myself. But even Joe agrees with me that it’s less slobbiness (although that’s definitely a factor) and more that we still have way too much crap in the house that we don’t need. I’ll be making plenty of runs to Good Will over the next few months. And I’ve got to get more bookshelves so that I’ve got places for my books; makes them easier to find when they’re shelved than when they’re piled up all over the floors in various rooms.  And I’d like to find some way to organize his music room.

I’m having to work a fair bit of overtime this month, but otherwise I’m planning to spend a lot of time between the gym and housework. And movies. And the Buffython, whenever that happens. So staying busy, but trying to remember to have fun, too.

I know it’s been forever since I did any writing, but I have a new post up on Seduced by the Muse. And there are a couple of new posts up at Faith’s Journey as well. Stop on by if you’re interested!

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Ramblings

My husband is a coward. An unmitigated coward, I tells ya! And I no longer feel guilty about making him be the bad guy and taking Molly to the vet. ‘Cause on account of how he took her to the vet yesterday, and she has fleas, and she’s allergic so she got a cortisone shot, some anti-itch medicine just in case, some antibiotics that she has to be given twice a day, and some stuff we’re supposed to spray on the furniture. And the vet also gave her some medicine that killed all the fleas. And it seems to have worked. Because Joe said she lay down on a clean sheet (yay) last night, and left a myriad of dead fleas behind her.

Anyway, to the antibiotics. Because that’s where my husband’s a coward. Last night he put one of the pills in my hand. I put it into her mouth, held it shut, and when I thought she’d swallowed, I let go, and plop! She spat it back out, and I barely caught it. I looked up and asked Joe to get me a spoonful of peanut butter. My rationale was that she loves peanut butter, and if I gummed her mouth together with peanut butter, there’d be a better chance of the pill going down with the peanut butter. He stammered, “I’ve gotta go get the cartridges for the printer. I’ll be back later.” And left.

I stared at the door in disbelief as I tried to pry her jaw apart (no easy task, because by then she knew what was up). I then shoved the pill further back, and then held her mouth closed a little bit longer.  I heard her gulp, saw her glare at me, and then let go.  She bolted under the table and I swear that if she had the ability to, she’d have been flipping me off with both paws. Damn mama, making me swallow damn pills.

So late morning I call Joe, who left for St. Louis again today. “Are you at the airport yet?” He was. Oh, and by the way, he didn’t give Molly her antibiotic today. He left it in her food dish, he says innocently; she’ll probably eat it.  I call him a putz, and he laughs. I tell him he’s a dirty rotten no-good coward, and he agrees.  So I get to shove a pill down her throat immediately upon my arrival home and then just before I go to bed, because she’s supposed to have them twice a day.

Last night I got a Snape tee-shirt from Hot Topic. I wavered between the Sirius shirt and the Snape shirt, but dang! Alan Rickman is so hot! So as we’re paying for the shirt, the guy at the counter asks where I got my messenger bag. You know, the Hogwarts messenger bag that Izzybella got me? The one from Hot Topic? He was a little surprised, and told me it was cool. I thought, no, it’s actually very geeky, and that’s okay. And Joe wanted to go see the Harry Potter movie with me, but it was only 5 and the movie didn’t start until 7, and neither of us felt like sticking around the mall that long. And he didn’t want to see Hairspray, alas, so we went home.

He’s out of town again, as I mentioned before. So I’m once again torn between feeling really glad to have some alone time and feeling guilty about feeling glad and then feeling embarrassed about it because I know I’ll be missing him really soon. And Gypsy Girl is probably laughing at me, and that’s okay. It’s probably all pretty silly. 

Mom comes to town tomorrow, and her plane lands at 8:30. The play starts at 8:00. One of my best friends was going to pick her up and take her to my house; however, she ended up having to work tomorrow night. So Mom very agreeably said she’ll be fine at the airport until we’re able to get there, provided we immediately take her to get some food as soon as we pick her up. The play is not very long, and Izzybella and I will skip the Q&A session and go to the airport right away. 

I ended up canceling Book Swim today. It’s a nice idea, being able to rent books a la Netflix. However, as I said in the cancelation form when they ask how they can keep you as a customer, their search engine absolutely sucks. One of their fairly recent blog entries talks about how they’ve recently upgraded their search engine, so I can only imagine how ghastly it was before. And it took about a week from the time I mailed in the first three books I finished reading until they registered that they had received them. That’s a long time, comparatively speaking. So for me and my limited funds and limited time, it’s just not the best deal. I think that once they’ve worked out all their bugs, and improved their search engine, I may return. It truly is a good idea for someone like me, who can’t use libraries because it’s far cheaper to just buy the blasted books rather than pay all the fines because I’m constitutionally incapable of returning books on time. I seem to be able to do it for a month or two, but then I quit going to the library, and whatever books I have in my hot little hands at the time remain in my hot little hands until I’ve received fifty threatening letters from the library and have racked up a hideous sum in fines.

I went to Half Price Books today during lunch, since I have the car back again. That was delightful! L-squared revealed the shocking fact that she has never read Pride and Prejudice or Jane Eyre; she said she was going to buy P&P tonight when she got off work. I happened to see both today and got them for her. I also found an amusing-looking YA book (Charlie Bone or something like that) in the clearance section for 50 cents and bought it. And I found a vegan cookbook that looks really great: The Angelica Home Kitchen: Recipes and Rabble Rousings from an Organic Vegan Restaurant.  Couldn’t resist. I just need a new crossword puzzle book, and I’m in business. They didn’t have any at Half-Price, so I’ll veer into Barnes & Noble on the way home from work, before I go home and shove antibiotics down my poor dog’s throat.

I’m so tired of coughing! Joe got me some Robitussin cough syrup that’s supposed to be good for 8 hours, and I took it this morning before work. But I’ve still been hacking away all day. And I still cough all night. I called my doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago (gee–has it been that long? she says sarcastically), and they told me not to bother coming in unless I’m physically feeling sick, and I’m not, per se. But my head and chest hurt from all the coughing. Any suggestions, anyone? Because I’m good and sick of this.

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My Weekend

I’ve already rhapsodized over Harry Potter, and don’t want to spoil anyone, so will refrain from further rhapsodies, beyond the occasional “squee,” but I did actually get a few other things done over the weekend, believe it or not.

Rehearsal Friday was, well, interesting? Exhausting? Illuminating? All of the above? I guess I’d have to go with D, all of the above. Exhausting, definitely. I was in a muck sweat by the time we finished, and the bottoms of my feet were caked with black dirt. Definitely made me rethink whether I want to perform the show in bare feet. I was also intensely frustrated to realize that despite the time I’ve spent on certain scenes, I’m still not completely off book. One scene I’m in I even wrote, and it’s the one I’m having the most trouble getting off book on. I have done everything short of getting on my knees and begging for that one to be cut, and would do that if I thought it would work! We had a photographer from the Fort Worth newspaper out to take pictures for part of the evening for a story that’s due to appear this week. Most of all, though, it was good to see how things are coming together. It’s going to be a very good show.

On Saturday afternoon after Izzybella called the umpteenth time and ordered me to wake my lazy self up and pick her up (it was a kindness, trust me!) for V’s housewarming party, I kicked L-squared out, and Soleil and I went and picked up Izzybella and we did in fact go to V’s housewarming party.  It wasn’t, however, at V’s new house. This would be because V’s new house is in another state far away from this one.  It was held at the home of V’s parents-in-law, and was a really fun party. V’s parents catered, and if you’ve never had the good fortune to eat a meal they’ve cooked, oh, my, you’ve truly missed out. They always make sure they have something for the vegetarians in our little crowd, and I feasted on rice and squash with cheese, and guacamole.  I’m really glad Izzybella got bossy, because honestly, Soleil and I could easily have slept all day. And V’s too good of a friend, and we’d have felt like big fat jerks if we’d missed her party.

Afterward, Izzybella and I took Soleil home, and then I took Izzybella home, and then I took myself home, where I proceeded to begin rereading Harry Potter.  I was approximately 3/4’s of the way through the book, bleary-eyed, when Joe called me. He ordered me to sleep until noon the next day.

Ever the obedient wife, I did just that. Well, sort-of. Molly woke me up at 7:30 begging to go outside, so I let her out, read the last bit of Harry Potter, and then went back to sleep until noon.  Does that count?

And Joe frequently casts aspersions upon my abilities to keep house. Justly so, I should admit. I loathe cleaning house. But while he’s been gone, I’ve successfully kept clean the rooms that were clean when he left.  I’ve also begun cleaning some other rooms that needed cleaning.  So yesterday I started work on the guest room–critical, since Mom’s due to arrive on August 2nd. I worked sporadically on that room until Izzybella called and said she was picking me up in 10.

We ran a few errands, ate some lunch together, and had a very nice interlude. She then dropped me back home, and I returned to my chores. I also managed to watch Capote (WOW!) and Notes on a Scandal (also very good) before I’d had enough. No, the room’s not finished, but it’s a lot better. I have about two loads of laundry to wash, some books to put away, and two boxes of stuff that I need to put somewhere but I don’t know where. How do I manage to do that? Amass such piles of stuff? Don’t tell me–I don’t want to know. I just want to be done with it.

Today Joe decided that he doesn’t want me to go to San Antonio with Mom and Izzybella the day after the show closes. Now I’ll freely admit that I wasn’t entirely wanting to go ONLY because I know how tired I’ll be. However, I was very much looking forward to spending the time with Mom and Izzybella. So I was disappointed. I was also very frustrated because I knew that it would hurt my sister to have me back out like this.  But he’s worried about how tired I’ve been, how sick I’ve been lately, how much extra I’ve been doing with him out of town. He’s also frankly been worried about Molly, because she’s been missing him a LOT. She’s not used to him being gone so much, and he is worried that if I pick up and go somewhere for a couple of days that she’d kind of freak out.  And my not going means I don’t have to make up that 8 hours from work–I’ll just go to work on that Monday and not have to work 10-hour days the rest of the week. It’s a mixed bag. I feel torn. Relief on the one hand, and immense guilt and frustration on the other. I hate hurting my sister, who is my best friend next to my husband. It’s put a heavier burden on her to have me not be there, because now she’s the only one who’ll be driving, etc. But maybe it’ll be good. She’ll have some quality alone time with Mom. And just think of the guilt factor! Whenever she wants me to do something, and I start the “I don’ wanna” whine, she just has to bring this up, and I’m her slave!  And when they get back from the trip, I’ll have a good dinner ready. And, Izzybella, I’ll give you a good massage when you get back.  Okay, I know I’m pushing. I’m just trying to make the best of a difficult situation.

So tonight we’ve got rehearsal in Ft. Worth again, but the rest of the week is tech week in Addison. That means long nasty drives, late nights, exhaustion, and we open on THURSDAY! I’ve got to remember to buy dog food tonight, because I won’t get another chance, and we definitely don’t have enough to last until the weekend.

Joe gets home on Friday. I’m glad. I’ve missed him. I think he said he’s going to fly back on Monday, so I get to have him for the whole weekend. Yay! That’ll be nice. Of course, Molly will probably be fighting me for his company. . .

Oh, yeah. One more thing. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. SQUEE!!!!!

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Loved It/Hated It/Miss Him

LOVED IT:

The Last Holiday, a Queen Latifah movie. It’s been here for a week, and I finally plugged it into the DVD player tonight, figuring I could just listen to it while I was washing dishes/running lines/cleaning house/missing my husband (ADD, remember?).  But I soon found that I kept going back into the living room and sitting on the sofa, entranced. It’s a sweet romantic comedy. I cried near the beginning when this lovely aspiring chef/Hellmart sales associate found out she had a terminal disease and only 3 weeks to live. But after some “why me” episodes, she faced it with grace, cashed in her IRA and bonds, and decided to make the most of her remaining 3 weeks.  Yes, parts of the movie were highly predictable. That didn’t take away from my enjoyment. It was well cast and beautifully filmed.  It’s a keeper.

HATED IT:

Thirsty, by M.T. Anderson.  I like me the vampire stories. That’s no secret. But this vampire story I could have done without reading.  The protagonist, Chris, has a crush on a girl at school, and a couple of so-called best friends that he’s really outgrowing. And he’s starting to feel a little strange.  His town has an upcoming ceremony designed to keep the vampire lord Tch’muchgar locked away in the prison-like dimension where he has been entrapped; one day Chris is approached by a mysterious being who calls himself Chet. Chris is turning into a vampire himself, Chet tells him, but the Powers of Light will save him if he will do them just one little favour.  After plenty of denial followed by incontrovertible proof that he is, indeed, turning into a vampire, Chris does the favour requested of him.  But Chet doesn’t return to cure him. Is Chet really a good guy? Is there any hope for Chris? Well, if you don’t want to waste your time reading the book, email me and I’ll tell you. Otherwise, go for it. It’s not badly written–I just didn’t particularly care for it. I have another book by M.T. Anderson on the list for one of my challenges. I hope I like it better.

MISS HIM:

Joe. Who else? I’m sitting here pouting because I only got to talk to him for about 2 minutes today. And those two minutes were when he was going back to his job site after lunch–I heard him say something about a nice pair of shoes, and a gruff masculine voice near him said, “Forget the shoes; that’s a nice butt!”  And I told him to call me later. Only he didn’t. I know, I know. He’s really busy. He truly is, and I know that. And maybe his cell phone’s out of juice, and he hasn’t gotten around to charging it. Maybe he doesn’t even know it’s out of juice. But I’m sitting here pouting nonetheless.  I know I wanted some time, but really, just having him not working from home would have been fine, thank you very much. Having him gone 3 weeks at a time is just a little too much alone time.

I thought I’d be so productive tonight. Get my lines, get the house cleaned. Why do I always think I can do three weeks of work in a 4-hour period? Because I just can’t. I washed the few dishes that needed to be washed, cleaned off the counter, moved the microwave from the baker’s rack in the dining room onto said counter, made dinner, took out the trash, worked on my lines, watched a movie (mostly while working, but some of it I was just sitting on my backside), did two crossword puzzles, and explained to Molly that she really needed to use the pee pad if she can’t wait until morning. And then I finished reading the aforementioned book, cried, and turned on my computer.

I loathe having to take sleeping pills. I always have trouble sleeping because I just can’t get my mind to slow down enough to fall asleep. But when I’m in a show it’s worse than ever. I know I’ve talked about that before, but I’m feeling it right now because I didn’t take an Ambien yet, and I’m not the least bit sleepy. But if I take it now, I won’t be able to get up in time without being groggy. It hits me hard; if I wake up in the night to go to the bathroom, I literally stagger to and from the bathroom.

So there’s a story about MoMentuM and Las Mujeres de Juarez in this week’s Fort Worth Weekly.  I’ll link to it tomorrow, but you can do a search for Fort Worth Weekly and find it.  The reporter got some details wrong–trust me, we don’t only focus on doom and gloom and death and destruction and we do put on fun shows as well–but still, publicity is publicity, right? And we’ll be in the Fort Worth Star Telegram as well; a photographer is coming to our Friday night rehearsal.  So I’m really hopeful that the publicity will get some people out to the show who wouldn’t normally come.

I’m still twitching, by the way, and it’s getting increasingly annoying. I looked up some remedies, and it appears as though taking magnesium may help. It’s worth a try. Of course, I’m sure it’s mainly stress, and that’s just going to be there for another several weeks. Can’t do much about it.

Apparently my mom is reading my archives (hi, Mom!) and she tells me that I erred when I said that she thought Izzybella was going to be a boy (see Izzybella’s Birthday in December 2006). That’s how I remembered it, and when you’re a kid, you don’t necessarily realize everything that’s going on. I do remember not understanding about how being heavily pregnant made it awkward to sit at the table. Mom was sitting kind of sideways and had propped up one elbow on the dinner table, and I smarted off with a phrase I’d heard in Girl Scouts or somewhere. “Mabel, Mabel, if you’re able, get your elbows off the table.”  Whoo! Did I get in trouble! Okay, I got sent to my room, but still, I was smarting at the indignity. Again, in retrospect, duh, and I’m sorry, Mom.

I guess I’ll quit writing now.  I’ve had some friends tell me that they’ve done drunk texting. I’m not drunk, and I’m blogging, not texting, but it feels remarkably like how I imagine drunk texting would be.

Oh, yeah! Two days and two hours until HARRY POTTER!!!

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