Archive for April 28th, 2012

I Said What?????

Every now and again, like most people, my mouth opens and I trip over some of the most gosh-awful phrases you can imagine. And other times I’m wandering along talking to myself (hush, you know you do it too!), and then freeze, almost paralyzed, when I realize what just came out of my mouth. And I guess my mind must be in the gutter, because these episodes just cracked me up once I made sure no one was within earshot.

Last night I was at Barnes & Nobles looking for a crossword puzzle book. I’m addicted to the New York Times Sunday puzzles. They’re extremely difficult and I love them. I don’t like easy crossword puzzles. They annoy me. But I have all of the current NYT Sunday puzzles, so I picked up a different one to check it out. “This is short and little. I like ’em big, and long, and hard.”

That just embarrassed the crap right out of me. But it gets worse.

I stopped for a malt at Sonic, because the ice cream soothes my currently perpetually sore throat. The straw they gave me was a little narrow, and I sucked and sucked and sucked, and finally some of the malt started to come through the straw. As I parked my car at the apartment, I heard myself say, “Man, I really had to suck a long time to get it up.”


And now I’m sharing it, for the sole purpose of comforting those of you who’ve ever completely unintentionally said something that could be taken in a really filthy manner. (And also because I need you to share something you’ve said, so I know I’m not alone!!!!)

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Y Not?

Yellow.  My youngest sister, A., looked like an angel whenever she wore yellow. She had beautiful red hair, the sweeetest smile you could ever hope to see, and yellow just set her colouring off perfectly. One of my favourite photos of her was when she was maybe 6 or 7, her red hair cut into a bob; she wore a yellow dress and a timid smile whilst holding an easter basket.

Yacht. The word, not the boat.  I used to mentally pronounce it “yatchitt” and the only way I found out was, amusingly enough, by reading a book where the author shared her experiences as a child playing “yatchitt” only to learn later on that it was not pronounced that way at all. I won’t spoil any of you who still pronounce it “yatchitt,” because personally I like it better that way anyway.

Yoga. My lovely bff sister-friend Jehara provided my first experiences with yoga. She used it as warmups before rehearsals and before the shows. I totally suck at it, for the most part, but I find that it somehow releases something within me. I leak tears when I’m doing yoga. I confess I am a little dismayed at how much yoga passes cost, because it’s enough out of my budget that I can’t go. And the DVD’s I have at home are good, but they are no substitute for having someone help me get into the right poses.

Savasana–I’m good at this pose. 🙂

Yams. I love baked yams, mashed yams, yam biscuits, yams any way you can think of to prepare them. They have such a rich flavour. Not just for autumn and winter!

Yawning. Why is it so contagious????? Enquiring minds want to know! When I was in 8th grade, I think, I had math class after lunch. Our teacher informed us on the very first day that he could not abide trying to teach a bunch of students who were all yawning incessantly. Therefore, he said, anyone who yawned in his class got sent out. Well, I was quite the shy kid, and I certainly didn’t want to get sent out of class for yawning. But, well, it was math class. And it was after lunch. I HAD to yawn.  Therefore, and although some experts say it is not possible, I mastered the art of yawning with my mouth closed. It’s hard, no question, and it doesn’t solve the problem of tears streaming down your face or your ears popping, but it can be done.  I will confess that now, many years later, if that teacher didn’t get some amusement out of the expressions those of us who larned how to yawn with our mouths closed.  And I will also confess that I have been yawning the entire time I wrote this paragraph. I bet you did, too. C’mon, fess up!

Yeast. I made my first loaf of bread when I was, what, 12, I think. Oh, it was dreadful. The hardest little densest loaf of bread you’ve ever seen. I didn’t realize that I had to let it rise again after the first rising and after you shaped it into a loaf. But I was so proud of myself. As I continued my forays into bread-baking, I did learn about that critical second rising. I used to make 6 loaves of bread at a time, and remember being furious with my motherr when I returned once to the kitchen to check on my cooling bread, only to find that she had sliced the ends off every damn loaf and eaten them! She said she couldn’t resist, because the end slices were her favourite. Anyway, back to yeast. When you’re using yeast, it’s easy to either kill it by using too hot water, or your yeast may have lost its ability to rise. If you don’t want to find out the hard way that you messed up your yeast, you just need to proof it.  To proof it you need to mix the yeast with the warm–but not too hot–water and a little sugar. Stir the mixture together in a little cup or bowl, and if it gets all lovely and bubbly, then it’s live and you mixed it just right. Then you go ahead and mix it in with your dough and all should be well.

So wow! We’re almost through the A to Z challenge! Tune in on Monday if you’re interested to see what I can find to say about zed!

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