Funky Dreams

I dreamed I was writing a hideously gushy fan letter to Helena Bonham-Carter, which was rather embarrassing. I have been known to write fan letters upon occasion, but they’re not gushy. Much.  But in the letter I asked her if she was familiar with Clockwork Couture, because the clothes there are awesomely cool steampunk, and I thought she’d really like them.

So, Ms. Bonham-Carter, if you’re reading this (ha!), you need to go to Clockwork Couture and buy lots of awesomely cool clothes from them because they are awesomely cool.  And in exchange, I promise not to write you a hideously gushy fan letter, even though I adore you in a completely non-stalkerish kind of way.

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Writing Writing Writing

My book is due this week; I’ve been sick with a tummy virus of some sort.  I did post a new book review on Quirky Girls Read. Go check it out!

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Fabulous!

I told Joe Saturday that I am no longer going to wear any article of clothing that doesn’t make me look or feel fabulous.  Of course, he thinks I look fabulous in some things that I think are just plain ugly.

See, when I was gaining weight, what I mostly wanted of clothes was something that covered me up.  If it was cute on top of that, bonus, but if it didn’t cling to every roll of fat I would pretty much wear it.

Now that I’m losing weight, while I do still want things that cover me up and don’t cling to every roll of fat, I don’t want it to be just a cover up. I want to look good. Or feel good.

For the record, I look fabulous today, but I can’t repeat this specific outfit because the shirt is so much too big it keeps either sliding down and showing my tatas or sliding off my shoulders and showing my religion. And I wore the perfect necklace today, and kept waiting for someone to say something. Finally the receptionist at the doctor’s office complimented me on it.

I’m so easy to please.

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Fun with Spam

1. Keep your manhood fit. Um, I don’t have a manhood. Don’t want one. Thank you very much.
2. New jobs for … I actually really enjoy the job I have now. Thank you, though.
3. Join the biggest community for senior singles. I am neither senior nor single, so I’m good. Thanks.
4. Quality product enhances male potency. Again, no male potency to worry about.
5. Watch the World Premiere Presentation of Automatic Millionaire International. Hmmm. I could do with automatically becoming a millionaire, but since I don’t particularly want to watch the World Premiere Presentation, I guess I’ll have to be a less-than-automatic-world-millionaire loser.
6. Learn the art of lovemaking. Got it. Thanks anyway.
7. Today is your lucky day! Woohoo! What do I get?
8. There are many popular kinds of wonderful fake Rolex watches.  Glad to hear it, although I think the Rolex people might have a problem with that.
9. NEW YORK FASHION WEEK IS HERE! And yet here I am in Texas.
10. Saucy young college hotties. I’m saucy. Does one out of 4 count?
11. Looking to become a CNA?  Nope, and any potential patients should be very grateful.
12. Save up to 85% at Restaurants in your area. If I don’t go, I’ll save up to 100%. I like those numbers better.
13. Thinking about a career in nursing? See the reponse to number 11, above.
14. Processing auctions at home for 60 minutes. Um, okay. Thanks for letting me know.
15. V.IAG.RA with 77% OFF. If I actually wanted V.iag.ra, which I don’t, I’d rather have 100% on, if you know what I mean.
16. This is what you need to win. Win what?
17. Film school is calling.  Sorry, I didn’t hear the phone ring. Did Film school leave a message?

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Type A Much?

What does it say about me that I heard myself wishing that I were ambidextrous, so I could key in account numbers with my right hand whilst simultaneously making notes on my worksheet with my left hand?

Enquiring minds want to know.

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My Time Is Just as Valuable as Yours!

Before my office was so rudely relocated a couple of years ago (crimeny–has it been that long already?!?), I worked a lovely 12 minutes from my home. My primary care physician was on my way home, and the specialist I have to see every 3 months when things are going well (more often if they’re not) was across the freeway and the first right. Very convenient. I could schedule a doctor’s appointment for lunchtime or late morning, use that as my lunch break, and be back at the office with no trouble.

Then we moved. I now work 35-40 minutes from home if there is no traffic, and my primary care doctor and my specialist have not changed locations. This means that I have to miss a substantial little chunk of work in order to make my appointments. Today I had to see the specialist. My appointment was at 2:45. I left the office at 2:04. I arrived at the doctor’s office with 10 minutes to spare, since there was no traffic. And I checked in, paid my co-pay, and sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. I finally got called back at 3:45. Yes, people, I could have stayed at work until 3:04, which would have left me with only 1/2 hour to make up instead of 1 1/2 hours.

This particular specialist isn’t the kind who gets called out on emergencies. In fact, I don’t even see the physician himself; I see a nurse practitioner. All she does all day is have brief appointments with people for meds checks. I get that appointments can still lag a little bit, but an hour?  My time is valuable to me, and it’s definitely valuable to my employer.  I resent having to wait in their office for an entire hour (thank you, nook, for making that hour as painless as possible) and having to make up an additional hour and a half at work that wasn’t necessary.

There’s got to be a better way to deal with this. I can’t just zip out at lunch anymore, and I’m never lucky enough to get the first-thing-in-the-morning appointments. I wonder if I called to see if she was running on schedule, if they’d honestly tell me she was running an hour behind, so that I could check in later and not have to rush so. But if I didn’t check in on time, would I lose my appointment?

I’m going to call their office and ask them that question before my next appointment which is, thankfully, three months down the road.

Sorry for the whinge.

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Faith’s Food Rules

A week or two ago I read Michael Pollan’s brief book Food Rules.  I liked it. It’s short and sweet and to the point.  I added a few of his rules mentally to the ones I was given by my surgeon’s office and one good one I got from my manager at work.

1. Never eat carbs without some protein at the same time.  That works for my snacks. Like today when I got home and was quite hungry but not ready for dinner yet. I ate a couple of pretzels with a little bit of cheese.  This is the rule I got from Elaine, and I like it. It makes my snacks last me a little bit longer and I eat less.
2. Slow things down.  Take a bite of food and put your fork or spoon down while you chew it and enjoy the flavour.  You’ll very likely eat less, and you’ll also not piss off the person who spent time cooking what you might otherwise shovel in so quickly you barely tasted it.
3. Don’t eat until you’re full. Eat until you’re not hungry.  See, it takes a while for your brain to realize you’ve had enough to eat, so if you’re eating quickly and eat until you feel full, you’ve eaten too much. 
4. Dish up your plate at the stove/counter, and take the filled plate to the table. You’re much less likely to go for seconds, and you’ll eat less.
5. Use smaller plates.  For me, either a salad plate or an appetizer sized plate work brilliantly. If you put a spoonful of mashed potatoes, and 2 ounces of meatloaf on a dinner-sized plate, it looks ridiculous. Put it on a salad plate or an appetizer sized plate and you won’t feel like you have to put more food on the plate.
6. Don’t eat [almost] anything that has sugar as one of the first three ingredients. The disclaimer is because cheery oat cereal that babies like does have sugar as the 3rd ingredient, IIRC, but my surgeon okayed it. And don’t just look for sugar! Look for glucose, sucrose, fructrose, high fructose corn syrup, concentrated fruit juice, etc. 
7. A little container of baby food bananas makes a great dessert! I’m also fond of sugar-free low-fat rice pudding or a small serving of sugar-free low-fat yogurt.
8. Don’t drink anything half an hour before you eat or 45 minutes after you eat.  That way your food doesn’t get washed through your system as fast, and you stay satisfied longer.
9. Walking is great exercise, even if it’s just up and down every aisle in Target.  Okay, that’s not a food rule, but consider it a bonus.

Everything’s going great. I’m up to 40 pounds lost, and I had to go buy a new pair of nice jeans because the skinny jeans that I just got into at Christmas time are seriously baggy.

My upper arms are nightmarish, though. I was checking them out in the mirror yesterday and feeling very frustrated about them.  I have some hand weights, and need to start doing some exercises to firm up the muscle that’s there. I can’t do much about the hanging skin, though. If it doesn’t shrink down with me, I’m definitely going to be getting some nips & tucks.  🙂

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