Stuff happened last night. Stuff like I went to the tailor to get my dress pinned up for the hem. And I decided to ask the tailor if there would be enough fabric that she could make shoulder straps for my dress. There was, and she was very nice about it. However, after she unzipped me from the dress, we both saw that one of the seams had begun to split. That would be where my ribs are, on account of the whole breathing thing. So she’s also going to have to add a little extra fabric where my ribcage is so that I can breathe. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that the minute the photos & ceremony are over, that dress is going off, never to be worn again. I’ll wear pants and a cute shirt to the reception.
Stuff like I had the 2nd sleep study, the part where they fit you to a cpap mask and measure how much more improved your sleep quality is, only silly me is claustrophobic and prone to anxiety and panic attacks. Which means I made it a whole 15 minutes with the mask on before I could feel the panic rising. They were extremely kind about it, told me that 75% of people can’t do it. Honestly, if I could sleep with my mouth closed, I think I might make it. But the chin strap didn’t keep my mouth closed, and I felt like I wasn’t getting enough air, but whenever I opened my mouth and the air went out of my mouth instead of where it’s supposed to go, well, let’s just say it wasn’t very pleasant. So I went home and slept, snoring loudly, mouth agape, in my own bed. And my poor husband sacked out on the couch because, see the previous line, I was snoring loudly. Poor guy.
Okay, for something good: I found a great book last night. It was only $3.99 at Borders, and it was in the box where you buy one, get one free. So you could get another book and still only pay for 1. It’s Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don’t Float, Classic Lit Signs On to Facebook by Sarah Schmelling. It’s seriously and literally laugh-out-loud funny. I mean, I was laughing madly in the store, particularly in the Chaucer section beginning on page 10. fart. fart fart fart.
And I have awesome sisters and awesome friends who help me when I get entangled in a morass of stupidity, and tell me they love me even though I sometimes wear a tee-shirt that says “Tread On Me” whilst lying on the floor so people can, you know, tread on me. They send me encouraging responses to my frantic texts and e-mails. So I know I can get through this. I only hope I don’t wear them down through my frantic texts and e-mails. Wowza.