i have friends, plenty of them, even if it doesn’t always seem like it. we live very different lives, we travel very different directions, we can be snippy witches sometimes, and we can be serious jerks to each other. but usually we love getting together and doing whatever. make murals? sure, sounds fun. let’s put on a show! awesome!
but it gets hard when friends go away. back in ’05, one of my friends, janine, and her husband made the decision to return to utah in a very short time span. i got to see her once. we had lunch at a restaurant near my office, we talked, hugged, cried, and she was gone. i was sad. but at the same time, i knew we’d meet up again. joe and i would go visit them while we were in utah, or they’d come down here for a visit, so i’d see her again. every time i see a decorative frog i think of janine, because she loved frogs, and i liked to give them to her.
well one night i got a call that janine had been killed in a head-on collision. also, two of her four children were also killed in that accident. i felt completely numb. suddenly in one blinding second the time frame for mine and janine’s next meeting just got drastically altered. (that’s from my selfish perspective it it.) please know that my heart and prayers have gone out many times for her husband and two remaining children.
i have another friend, jehara, who up and moved to phoenix, leaving behind some heartbroken friends. even though we weren’t really getting together all that often because of crazy work schedules and all the other things that interfere, but i knew that i could call her and chances were she’d set aside some time for me. if jehara loves you, you are one of the richest people in the world, because she gives that love so purely and so genuinely. so when she left, even though it’s for great reasons, my heart’s been a little sad.
yoga makes me think of jehara. so when i tell you that i’ve been seeing this set of largeish gold frogs holding yoga poses, it’s like i have memories to touch to connect me to two very different women, both of whom i love more than i can tell you, and pulls my loss into oneness instead of apartness. so today i bought me a zen frog, and he’s going to live on top of my piano and placidly stand in for janine and jehara, and comfort me when they’re not here and their loss is hard and leaves me lonely.