Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for September 16th, 2008

What Did the Doctor Say?

I feel kinda gooberish for going on and on and on about Doctor who, but dang! I can’t help myself. See, you’ve heard (okay, read) me rave about Joss Whedon’s clever dialogue, right? So here are some quotations from the Doctor.

Woman: My leg’s grown back! When I come to the hospital, I had one leg!

Dr. Constantine: Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?

***

Cathy Salt: [talking about mysterious deaths connected to the “Blaidd Drwg” project] And then just recently Mr. Cleaver, the government’s nuclear advisor?

Margaret Blaine: Slipped on an icy patch.

Cathy Salt: He was decapitated!

Margaret Blaine: It was a very icy patch.

***

Jack: She’s got a teleport! That’s cheating! Now we’ll never get her!
Rose: Oh, the Doctor’s very good at teleports.
[Doctor uses sonic-screwdriver to bring Margaret back three times, each time closer than she was before.]
The Doctor: I could do this all day.
Margaret Slitheen: [out of breath] This is persecution. Why can’t you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?
The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Margaret Slitheen: Apart from that.

***

Jack: Now hold on, ladies, I don’t want to have to shoot either one of you.
Trin-E: But you’re unarmed!
Zu-Zana: And you’re naked!
[Jack reaches behind him briefly, and returns holding a very small gun.]
Zu-Zana: But that’s a compact laser deluxe.
Trin-E: Where were you hiding that!?
Jack: You really don’t wanna know.

 

***

The Doctor: The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.
Rose: What for?
The Doctor: Fun. [pause] Mind you, when I said “the great and the good,” what I mean is the rich.

 

***

The Doctor: [opening Rose’s phone] Tell you what. With a bit of jiggery pokery-
Rose: Is that a technical term, “jiggery pokery”?
The Doctor: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
Rose: Nah, I failed Hullabaloo.

 

***

The Doctor: Pity about the scarf; Madame Nostradamus made it for me. Witty little knitter.

 

***

Romana: K-9, what is tennis?
K-9: Real, lawn or table, mistress?
Romana: [Beat] Never mind. Forget it.
K-9: Forget. Erase memory banks concerning tennis. [Whirrs] Memory erased.

 

*** 

The Doctor: What’s the matter?
Romana: Look! Radiation levels you wouldn’t believe!
The Doctor: Good heavens! You could fry eggs in the street.
Romana: But that means…
The Doctor: What?
Romana: There must be a huge nuclear war going on down there!
The Doctor: None at all, no.
Romana: Well what else could it be?
The Doctor: I don’t know. Probably someone throwing a huge breakfast party. Think po- Why do you always assume the worst?
Romana: Because it usually happens.
The Doctor: Empirical poppycock! Where’s your joy in life? Where’s your optimism?
Romana: It opted out.
K-9: Optimism: Belief that everything will work out well. Irrational, bordering on insane.
The Doctor: Oh, do shut up, K9. Listen, Romana, Whenever you go into a new situation, you must always believe the best until you find out exactly what the situation’s all about. Then, believe the worst.
Romana: Ah, but what happens if it turns out not to be the worst after all?
The Doctor: Don’t be ridiculous. It always is.

Read Full Post »