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Archive for September 8th, 2008

Why I Hate FaceBook

This will probably go in circles, as so many of my explanations tend to.

I was an extraordinarily shy kid. This was exacerbated by the fact that we moved. A lot. Where many kids who moved a lot would learn that they’d have to make friends quickly, I was the kid who sat by herself in the lunchroom, not making friends until what seemed like a few short weeks before we moved again. I’m exaggerating, of course, it wasn’t quite that bad. Just almost. And I rarely had more than 1 friend at a time, with a few notable exceptions.

I was also the kid who got bullied in elementary school. Weirdness emanated off of me, and while it just made people in junior high and high school ignore my existence, it made the nasty kids in elementary school actively bully me. And I gave them what they wanted every time: tears. I remember once having my head on my desk while I sobbed my heart out, snot everywhere, and when I lifted up my head a thread of snot clung to the desk and everyone laughed at me. And I remember the jerks who threw rocks at me every day after school. I was advised by wise adult-types to just ignore them. Sorry, but it’s hard to ignore rock-throwing neanderthals*. I never could figure out how to deal with people.

That makes it odd to me, then, that I had a few brief periods of relative popularity. Okay, so the people I was popular with were geeks and nerds and dorks and misfits just like I was, but it still beat sitting alone all the time.  Most of the time I don’t think we even really truly liked each other, it was just a sort of fitting-in with the misfits thing. I haven’t kept in touch with any of them. Some I’d like to, while there are others I’m just as happy not to.

So I look at FaceBook, or MySpace, or any other social networking site. My family and close friends, people I’ve gotten to know within the last couple of years are there. And I hear about people reconnecting with lost friends, and I think, “hey, I’d like to reconnect with my lost friends!” The first problem is remembering any lost friends. Let’s face it–there weren’t a lot. And then I search for the ones I do remember, and I can never find any of them. Well, I found one, but since he was listed as being a member of several kinky sex groups, I didn’t attempt to contact him. (And no, upon reflection, I wasn’t surprised to find that he belonged to those groups, but still. Ugh. I’m old-fashioned enough to believe that other people’s sex lives are not my business, and I’d just as soon not see advertised on their profiles that they’re into unusual practices. YMMV.)

It’s depressing. And even though I’m anti-social enough that I don’t really do anything on FaceBook anyway, it still makes me sad to realize that I’ve passed through my life and don’t have any connections beyond family for the first 40 years of that life.

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*No insult intended to actual Neanderthals.

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