I had a fairly uneventful day. It started with breakfast at 7 with dad and the monster–izzybella didn’t make it this morning. Then there was nappage, brought up short by the little dog jumping onto the bed and very noisily chewing a plastic bottle into shreds.

The library–I had a little bit of a fine to pay but nothing too terrible–and I checked out two books for me and 8 books on weddings for lolo. Well, they’re for me to read, but the wedding is all lolo.

Then I meandered out Dallas way, stopping at Sam Moon (one cute smallish purse, a chain for my amethyst, and a very cute necklace set) and Moon’s LDS bookstore (a dvd, 2010 calendar, a few other things that don’t come to mind right now). I drove over by the temple and sat in the parking lot for a while, praying and thinking about things, before I had to leave to meet Amethyst at Cosmic Cafe.

I know I promised photos, but my camera phone doesn’t have a flash, and it was darkish inside. But it was good, and it was good to spend some time with Amethyst. She’s a pretty amazing person. She’s very warm and accepting of others, and she’s a very gifted artist and teacher. She needs good things to happen in her life.

Then I got lost on the way home and somehow managed to end up in Grapevine before I knew where I was instead of Irving where I was expecting to find myself. It was a really odd feeling, like someone picked up my car and gently set it down in another town. I stopped at the farmer’s market for some fruit (honeycrisp apples, texas ruby grapefruit, satsumas) and veggies, and was delighted to see that they have some completely vegan black bean and corn tamales! Yes! I get to have tamales at Christmas! Woot! Then a quick stop at Half-Price Books, my home away from home, where I found a CD/DVD case that holds 400 discs; it will solve several of my problems in one fell swoop. And another quick stop at Kroger for the vegan black-bean chipotle burgers Lolo and I have been craving, and some vanilla silk, and the organic chocolate chips for the cupcakes that I’ll be making tomorrow.

The dogs were delighted to see me at home. Molly was on the loveseat by the front door and Scout was jumping all over the place. I smelled an unpleasant smell, but it took me a few minutes to find it. When I did find it, the guilty party crept down the hall and under the bed. I cleaned it up and told her she wasn’t in trouble, and gave her some kisses and booty scratches, and she felt better.

While I was sitting in the parking lot of the temple, I was reminded of when Joe and I went there to be sealed. For those of you who aren’t LDS, it means that we made wedding covenants that seal us together forever, for time and all eternity. It’s a big commitment that you make, a covenant not only between the two of you, but with Heavenly Father.   I have let myself stray away from what I believe and love. I felt today kind of like one of the five foolish brides. I haven’t had enough oil in my lamp. With a lit lamp, I can be ready for the bridgroom, and shine his light into the darkness. I want that feeling back again.

I have trouble having my photo taken. Or taking it, asI did here. I’m self-conscious about my teeth, and I’m self-conscious about showing my gums, and I’m self-conscious about my small mouth. But I’m also self-conscious about looking like I hate the world if I don’t smile, because I don’t hate the world.  So I usually end up with this funny frozen expression. Of course, having all that aluminum foil on my head didn’t help. Why did I take the photo, then, you might ask. Well, because I like chronicling things in photos. I’m weird that way. And, okay, I’m weird in a lot of other ways, but I have fun being weird so it’s all good. 

 So yeah. When I got the blonde highlights, I left the salon with something I didn’t want. Clearly I hadn’t communicated very well, because I’m sure the stylist who did my hair last time was a good stylist. It’s kind of like eating out when I first became a vegan. You have to spell things out very clearly and precisely. Last night I went with Lolo when she went to get her hair done, and decided I had to get rid of my too conventional blonde highlights that didn’t look good on me and so weren’t what I wanted. But her stylist, the amazing Whitney, wasn’t available any time that I was available. So she set up an appointment for me with the stylist who does her hair.

Meet Angelina.

You can’t really tell from this photo, but her hair’s pink. And she’s very rockabilly and vegetarian and arty and just cool. I adore her. I mean–you have to adore a stylist who’s excited because Whitney told her my highlights were too conventional. And she’d already come up with some style and colour ideas, and now I have–well, wait, a picture’s worth a thousand word, right? Here you go.

There’s still some blonde in there. Plenty of it, in fact, but she put a toner on it so the yucky brassiness went away. And there’s a lot more dark. And there’s purple. Mmmmmmm. Purple.  So if you’re in DFW and you need a stylist, send me an e-mail and I’ll tell you where to find Angelina.

Doesn’t she remind you of Sarah Kramer?

Same rockabilly style, awesome tattoos, same big bright gorgeous style. Sarah Kramer is one of my favourite vegan cookbook authors (La Dolce Vegan, How It All Vegan, Garden of Vegan, Vegan a Go-Go).

Tune in this time tomorrow–the one-of-a-kind, often imitated but never duplicated Amethyst and I are having dinner at Cosmic Cafe. Yes, there will be photos.

Okay. The Dr. McDougall program? It’s awesome—-but Jenn and I found it to be too much too fast. We made it three days, but we were both very tired, hungry, cranky, and I had a headache that was so bad I could hardly stand it.  We did decide we want to keep continue going down that path, but to ease into it a little more slowly.

And along that front, may I recommend Alicia Silverstone’s new book, The Kind Diet?  If you go to bn.com, they’ve got it for a fantastic price, and free shipping. Woot!  She talks about three phases in her book, one where you kind of ease into things (still lets you eat a lot of convenience foods, not to be confused with fast foods, which tend to be very unvegan-friendly and not particularly healthful), the vegan, and the superstar! (I’m paraphrasing–I haven’t received my copy yet, so I’m trying to remember the details from reading the first half of the book at the store yesterday.)  I’ve lately been in her first stage, and kind of went from there to the superstar stage. I’m not up to superstar level just yet, so will spend a little more time in the middle and keep working my way over.

Next thing. Want your Christmas money to go a little farther, and support some independent vegan sellers *and* the Peaceful Prairie Animal Sanctuary all at the same time?  Go to VeganEtsy, and get yourself their holiday gift pack, “It’s All in the Bag!”  You’ll get a handmade tote filled with a grab-bag of Etsy-made vegan good that have been donated by different crafters. Plus all profits are being matched (anonymously–thank you, Amazingly Generous Anonymous Donor!!!!) and will be donated to the Peaceful Prairie Animal Sanctuary. So the money you spend on an awesome gift bag (all vegan, which can’t be beat) will be doubled and donated to an animal sanctuary. What’s wrong with that? 

chirp chirp

You got it! Nothing! Everything’s absolutely right with that!

(Go get Alicia’s book, and come back and tell me how much you love it. Tell me about the different recipes you try, and how much better you feel eating kindly and compassionately. And I’ll do the same for you, as soon as it gets here.)

Also, if you

I didn’t make it to church this morning after all.  Joe’s worked the last 3 nights and 3 days with almost no sleep, and even though I tried to persuade him to move his flight to tomorrow, he’s on his way home.  So my job today is to make sure the house is restful when he gets here, and that there’s good food to nourish him with, and that he gets  some rest.

The chili beans are simmering merrily away on the stove, and I’ll get an acorn squash into the oven in another couple of hours so it will be ready when he gets home.

I transferred a good portion of the numerous small jars of this spice and that into my nifty new spice rack.  It freed up a lot of cupboard space, which makes me happy, and it’ll make the spices a lot easier to find, which also makes me happy. The dishwasher’s running. I’m about to go sprinkle the arm & hammer pet deodorizer onto the sofa & love seat, and let it absorb all the doggie aroma before I vacuum it up.  Clothes to put away, laundry to get washed, a little cleaning to happen. It’ll still be a good day.  Maybe Joe won’t be so grumpy when he arrives home if there’s good food and a nice soft sofa waiting for him, along with his loving wife and two faithfully devoted doggers.

If I did it correctly, I just merged two of my other blogs into this one. It doesn’t appear that my links were transferred, so I’ll have to manually add them into my blogroll. And don’t sweat it if you miss something, because I haven’t blogged on either of the two other blogs in quite some time. This is just my way of continuing to decompartmentalize my life.

I yam what I yam.

I’m feeling really good today. Well, aside from the headache that came with forgetting one of my medications for two days in a row, and from having crazy insane nightmares for two nights in a row, and from being out of contacts and having to wear my glasses for two days in a row. . . .

This talking about things? It’s good. I had a lovely long talk with my friend today, and feel like we got things ironed out. And I had a lovely long visit with Amethyst today at Spiral. Don’t believe me?  Here’s proof! (well, proof of Spiral, anyway, I didn’t take a photo of Amethyst. Just the food.)

Oh, and Elvis. Say hey, Elvis.

Elvis says hey. He doesn’t know why a snake is twisting its way along his head, but he’s going to go along with it and see what happens.

I was seriously thirsty when I got there, and my glass of ice cold tropical sunset rooibos tea vanished before I knew what happened. No need to panic, though. They have plenty.

And what trip to Spiral Diner is complete without some of their incredible delicious cashew cheese?

Certainly not this one!  The blue plate special was their Festivus sandwich, which came complete with home fries and the vegan gravy of goodness.

It was so delicious that I started eating before I remembered to take a photo. Amethyst and I split it, and it was seriously good. I may have to go get another one after my two weeks of McDougalling have ended. Not that I’m planning to stop McDougalling, but one must make room for Spiral’s blue plate specials at least once a month. And Izzybella and Lolo couldn’t go with me today, and it is imperative that they have a Festivus sandwich.

What else got done today? Frankly, not enough, and yet I’m really worn out and ready to poop out early tonight.  Let’s see–breakfast with Dad, the Monster, and Izzybella. Then a trip to Ross where I splurged on a really pretty grey top and a fun grey hairband. Then off to Spiral for a lovely long lunch with Amethyst. Then off to the mall, where I bought a couple more hairbands at the place whose name escapes me but they have a bunch of cheap and not-so-cheap junk jewelry. I had my eye appointment, and my nice and very good eye doctor gave me contact lenses to tide me over until mine come in next week. I got an air freshener at Bath & Body Works, and then went to see what was playing at the movies. There were a few I want to see, but the timing was off.  So I came home. Honestly, I didn’t want to leave the house again this evening, but I have decided to reform and quit shopping on Sundays. So I had to go get some groceries tonight, and since I had to leave the house anyway, why not stop at Half-Price Books? So yeah. But my grocery bill was so much lower than usual (all veggies and fruit except for two bags of brown rice and one bag of dry kidney beans because I didn’t remember if I had any at home and I needed them) (oh, and pita bread) that I felt very virtuous. And I stopped at Sonic for a farewell Dr. Pepper. Mmmm.

The groceries are put away. The beans are soaking. And if my ward building gets struck by lightning tomorrow, it’s because I am going to church. I know what I’m going to wear to church tomorrow, and I even told Lolo that I’m going so that I’m accountable. 

What still needs to be accomplished this weekend? Cleaning. Laundry. Putting away of the laundry.

Joe’s coming home tomorrow, too, and the poor guy has worked about 40 hours straight. He’s going to be completely exhausted, which may translate to completely cranky. Scout and Molly will be elated to see him, and I’ve got some relaxation exercises I do with him that help him sleep when he’s this tired.  So tomorrow afternoon will probably be quiet around here.

So I may have mentioned that I’m doing the Dr. McDougall 12-day program. Lolo and Jenn are joining me in it. I’m doing the cooking & meal preparation for our lunches. Wanna know what lush wonders we’ll be eating?  Well, since I’m starting a day early (eldest child syndrome), tomorrow I’m having beans &  brown rice with a nice baked acorn squash. Monday we’ll have pita pizzas for lunch, and more beans & brown rice for dinner. Tuesday’s lunch are stuffed pita sandwiches, and marinara sauce with whole-grain pasta for dinner. Wednesday’s lunch is pasta salad, and Wednesday’s dinner is autumn vegetable stew.  Aren’t you drooling at the thought of all this delicious fresh goodness? Want to join us? I found a copy of his book at Half-Price (ah, Half Price, how I love thee!), and he also has a lot of information at his website.  Check it out, and thank me later. Or better yet, thank him.  Did you know I e-mailed him with a question, and he responded within a day? Considering how many e-mails and questions he must get, I was really pleased.  I’ve read his book and cruised through his website and the archives of the newsletters and have accumulated some fantastic recipes.  I’m a good enough cook that I know how things will be based on the recipes, and I’m really looking forward to trying these out.

So here’s to getting a whole lot of nothing done today, and enjoying every minute of it, and here’s to making my way to church tomorrow, and here’s to good food and better friends, and here’s to a night full of lovely dreams (and if I dream of Dr. Who again, I would just humbly request that I not wake up too soon, wink wink nudge nudge), and peace and love and happiness. And letting it all hang out. Because that’s what I need to do right now. Free to be me.

Oh, and hey–one last thing–next Saturday we’re going to Cosmic Cafe in Dallas. So if you’re in the area and want to join us, just shoot me an email. If you haven’t been to Cosmic Cafe, you’re really missing out. So okay, I won’t be feasting on the samosas, but dal and naan? Totally works.

In case I haven’t made it clear by  now, I grew up in a crazy family–crazy in the fun sort of way, and crazy in the not-so-fun sort of way.  Seeing as how we’re shaped by our genes as well as our upbringing you could guess (if you haven’t already done so) that I’m pretty crazy.  Complex.

For the last six or seven months, it seems, I’ve been having a lot of trouble talking. It’s nothing like laryngitis, where you literally lose your voice. It’s hard to describe. When I’m trying to say something, it feels almost like a tiny hand reaches out to snatch back the words and closes over my larynx so the words can’t come out. Some people have noticed it, some say they haven’t. But I always notice it when it happens.

It had been getting better, to the point that it was rarely happening.  If I had even taken a moment to notice that it had stopped, I probably would have attributed it to the weekly 15-minute chair massages I’m so fond of.  And I’m sure that has helped.

 But this week it came back with a vengeance. And today I found out why.

There’s something that’s been on my mind, one of those situations where you’re not sure what to do, if at all, and I tend to be one who avoids confrontations at all costs. I will hold it all in and and let it sit there like a big blobby ball of jiggly-wiggly hurt or sorrow or whatever. 

Today while I was on my lunch break and at Old Navy with lolo, I got a phone call from someone who chewed me out for something. And I could hardly talk after that. My larynx just kept closing every time I tried to speak. I was angry about the phone call that I was shaking, even 15 minutes later after picking up our cheeseless pizzas from schlotskys and driving back to the office and parking and walking the long walk to our desks.

I think that was the moment when I realized that the only way to get my voice back was to take it back.  So I did.

I wrote a long painful letter to someone I love so much that it killed me to have to send it. But it has had me so troubled that I had to say it. I hope it doesn’t cause her any hurt. I hope she can forgive me. Some things were really harming our friendship and for me to keep on sucking themm in would have been being a false friend to her. I don’t want that. I don’t want anything to stand in the way of our relationship. She is too dear to me.

And then I wrote a letter to the person who called me during my lunch break, and expressed my feelings as to what had happened and what was going on. That one was easier to write, and I would be amazed beyond belief if that person actually reads it. But that’s not what matters to me. What matters is that I speak.

While all those things were roiling in my mind, I noticed something else. I compartmentalize my life into nice neat tidy little sectors. I have a ridiculous number of blogs, most of which I don’t even use  very often. If I trust my readers and family and friends as I should trust them, then I think I need to quit placing this part of me in one blog, this part of me into another blog, etc.  All I can tell you is that I am going to just put things out here. If anyone has a problem with something I’ve written, I hope you’ll let me know so that I can clarify.

True friends communicate with each other, and work things out. I apologize to my friends that it has taken me so long to figure that out.  If you’re still here with me, I think this may be an interesting journey.

it’s my sister’s birthday too, yeah!

happee birthday kellee

Chocolate Covered Katie is giving away your choice of a lovely kitchen utensil. To enter, go visit her and follow the directions. She’s a pretty awesome chica, and if you’re not already acquainted with her, you’re missing out.

Not only that, but she is giving back to the world with her program Chocolate-Covered Kindness.   Small actions on your part can have a great result.  Go for it. Say thanks.

It is my considered opinion that the city of Las Cruces, New Mexico has a vampire problem.

Why, you may ask, wouuld I make such an outrageous statement?

We arrived yesterday evening around 6ish, and decided to try to find a restaurant. We’d been driving all day, were tired, grouchy, and very hungry.  There were a LOT of hamburger joints, and we saw a custard place, but really, everything was dark, unlit, there were no cars in the parking lots of all the businesses. We did finally find a pizza place near the hotel, so we got some pizza to take back with us.

But yeah, vampire problem. I’m guessing you probably don’t want to be out after dark in Las Cruces. Unless you’re wearing a cross, or have some holy water, or lots of garlic.

I’m just sayin’.