In case you can’t tell, the title for this post is dripping with sarcasm.
I’m down the first week of the liquid diet. I hate it. Five shakes a day, chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla. The chocolate (naturally) is my favourite, but they’re not bad. Not unless you do what I did today.
I spend my lunch hour in a comfy arm chair in the foyer of our cafe at work, where I’m not having to watch people eat. And I read on my nook, and visit with Sarah-bear when she’s able to join me, and then just before I go back to my desk to start working again, I take my shaker bottle into the cafe, and get some cold water from the soda fountain to make my 1:30 shake. Today was just like it has been for the last 5 work days: I closed my nook at 1:25, went to the cafe, refilled my tea, got some water in my shaker bottle, paid my 75 cents for the refill, went to my desk, logged into my phone, opened my shaker bottle, opened the packet of chocolate Opti-Fast mix, poured it in, closed my shaker bottle, and did the hippie-hippie-shake until everything was nicely blended.
First sip: Wow. There’s an odd fruity taste. I wonder if somehow a fruit flavoured packet got into my Opti-Fast box. Checked the packet. No, it’s chocolate.
Second sip: I dunno, it really tastes–oh crap! I got lemonade by mistake. Yeah, you get the cold water by pressing the little cold water thingie by the lemonade nozzle. Somehow my brain was asleep and I accidentally filled my bottle with 10 ounces of lemonade.
Third sip: Well, maybe I can get it down. I really am hungry.
Fourth sip: Yeah. Not happening. It’s disgusting.
So I didn’t have my 1:30 shake, and I only had one more packet with me at work for my 4:30 shake. I managed to last until about 4 and then I had to give in and drink it. I feel so empty that even drinking that didn’t really help with the hollow feeling.
In case you’re having trouble imagining what the chocolate lemonade tasted like, try this: Fill a glass with lemonade. Then stir in a few tablespoonsful of Nestle Quick. Mix well and try not to gag on it. Not good.
As the incomparable Izzybella pointed out, lemon truffles are so delicious. Yes, they are. But they’re made of lemony sugary truffley stuff enrobed in thick dark chocolately goodness. Not chocolate powder and lemonade. Just not a good combo. I’m just sayin’.
Otherwise the liquid diet is going okay. Okay as in, just okay, not great. I’m tired of all the sweet stuff. Sugar-free gelatin, sugar-free ice pops, teas sweetened with the yellow packets or with Stevia, and one lone cup of broth a day. I actually gagged on my last serving of sugar-free gelatin yesterday, so I haven’t bought any more yet. I’m going to try to get by with the shakes and the sugar-free pops and the one cup of broth. We’ll see how it goes. Two more weeks of this, then the surgery on the 29th, another two weeks of this, and then I get to graduate to baby food. Trust me when I tell you that sounds just fine to me.
I ran into someone at work who had the surgery several months ago. I didn’t recognize her at first, she’s lost so much weight. And it’s more than just the weight lost. She looks healthier than I’ve ever seen her look before. Very lovely. She said she’ll save her fat work clothes for me, which will be nice since my wardrobe tends to be heavy on jeans and light on anything very nice just because I’ve always felt so bad about my weight. She was really encouraging, and promised that after the surgery the constant hunger I’m currently feeling goes away.
So my pre-op at the surgical center is tomorrow morning, and I have to go fasting. That means I’ll have to miss my 7:30 shake and my 10:30 shake will be postponed until I’m out of the appointment. I foresee that I will be a bit cranky tomorrow. If you have to put up with me, I apologise in advance.