Ever watched A Christmas Story? Seen the bit where Ralphie’s dad is changing the tire, and he knocks over the hubcap that Ralphie is obediently holding with the lug nuts? And Ralphie says ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffudge and you know what’s coming? And you were right–he says The Word. The Queen Mother of dirty words. The Eff-dash-dash-dash word.
If you ask me what I’m thinking tonight, any of it would be prefaced by fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. The Word. The Queen Mother of dirty words. The Eff-dash-dash-dash word. You know. The word that starts with fffffffffffffffffffffffffffff and ends with “uck.” As in Yuck.
Lessee–my gypsygrrl is having a rough time right now. The doctors are trying to find out what’s going on with her, and she’s having lots of procedures and worries and waitings and seeings.
My psych nurse practitioner has to see me again before she can give me psych clearance for lap band surgery. My next appointment with her is 8/2. My surgeon only operates one day a month at the location my insurance insists I have the procedure at. So it’s looking more like the earliest it can happen is September rather than August. And I realize even that isn’t a bad thing, but I’m one of those people that when I make up my mind, I’m ready to go.
I picked up my bridesmaid dress today. I didn’t have time to try it on at the shop because I had to call Gypsy. I promised. And besides there were 20 people in that small shop and it kind of gave me wiggins. So I tried it on half an hour ago. It doesn’t fit. As in there is at least a 4 inch gap where it should zip right up. The bride wants to know what I’m going to do. How the ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff should I know? I’m going to go see the tailor tomorrow and see if there is anything that can possibly be done, but I’m not holding my breath. There is scarcely an abundance of dresses in the particular fabric and colour in my size that I could just buy off the rack, besides which I’ve already paid $230 for this particular dress that I’ll never wear again, if indeed I get to wear it at all. I was planning on wearing an ivory pashmina over it, because trust me when I tell you no one needs to see my upper arms, so there is a chance that the tailor can jerry rig it somehow that between him working his magic and the pashmina, it might possibly stay on long enough for me to participate in the ceremony & pictures, and then change before the reception.
Oh man this is just stressing me out. Please send me some nice happy vibes. And send some to Gypsy while you’re at it, if you can. She needs them too. More than I do. ‘Kthanxbai.