Lesson Learned: Don’t Gloat

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It's a Dog's Life

Not that my intention was to gloat. I was just celebrating the fact that I had 4 days off. You know? Happy times. Happy times.

So I didn’t accomplish half the things I needed to. And that was okay, I figured. Things go that way, and there were still 3 days left. I got the important stuff done–Scout had his surgery; I visited C’s son Chase; I got the blacklight & batteries; I got a Cap’n Crunch frappuccino (tall strawberries & cream frap with one pump hazelnut and one pump toffee nut); had that fantastic breakfast; took a few pictures of Scout; picked up my prescriptions; went to the bank; got the library books together to return tomorrow; and remembered that I forgot to take a DVD back to the rental place. So that’s a lot, right?

Scout spent much of the afternoon and evening trying to remove his cone and whimpering in frustration. He smelled bad, so I gave him the doggie equivalent of a sponge bath. He ate a little and drank a little water. He tried to poop but was obviously constipated, poor little guy. And I managed to fall asleep on the couch for a little bit despite all that.

And then I woke up and I was hungry and didn’t feel like cooking. And I realized I’d forgotten to get the prescriptions. So I put Scout in his crate and went out to get some supper and my prescriptions. I got back home, and got everything ready to go to bed.

The first surprise was when I started walking down the hall. Poor little dude had apparently, during my nap, tried again to poop with a little more success. Okay, pick it up and flush it down; I can deal with a little poop if I have to.

The second surprise was when I turned on the light in the bedroom. He’d barfed all over my bed. That poor futon mattress has now been barfed on by both dogs, and peed on by both dogs. Joe told me tonight that we’ve got to just toss it out and get a new futon mattress.  

I’m lying on the couch hoping my meds kick in soon so I can get some sleep. I’m watching Meet the Robinsons for the first time, and realize how pathetic I am when Louis is frustrated because no one wants to adopt him, and I’m tearfully telling him that I would. You know, if he weren’t a cartoon character and all. Of course, I also told Chuckie Finster I’d be his mother, provided I could do so without having to marry his father. Insane, huh? What is it with me and cartoon characters anyway? When I was a kid, I wanted to marry Speed Racer when I grew up.

Sorry for that digression. I think my meds are kicking in. So when I told Joe about the poop and the barf, he justly pointed out that kids do that. I agreed, obviously, and said that I wasn’t angry. Just tired and a little frustrated. Hearing Scout whimper all evening wore me out. There was nothing I could do, but just reassure him in words that he doesn’t understand, and give him kisses and pats. And, you know, clean up the messes. He appears to be out like a light–finally–and I’m really hoping that neither dog needs to perform any more bodily functions tonight.

Curses! Cwned Again!

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It's a Dog's Life

Stolen From Shel

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
* Homeowner’s insurance. Exhorbitantly high, IMO.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
* Texas Land & Cattle

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
* Well, since it was a rape, um, yeah.

4. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most?
* Haven’t seen or thought of him in years.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
* I would have gone to college right after high school.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
* Miz Gibson. I adored her.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
* Hugging my husband.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
* An archaeologist, a mother, a teacher, a writer, a psychologist, and a college professor.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
* 2 universities and one community college.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
* It was in the same pile of only slightly dirty clothes that my jeans were in.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
* They’re unprintable.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
* Paris.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
* I actually woke up before the alarm this morning, thanks to Scout.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
* How on earth can a 20-pound dog take up half the bed?

14. Do you miss being a child?
* Sometimes.

15. What errand/chore do you despise the most?
* Laundry.

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
* Yes.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
* Sleep in whenever they let me.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
* Cindy Vortex.

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
* Cuddle up and sleep.

21. Have you found real love yet?
* Absolutely.

22. When did you start feeling old?
* When I realized I could no longer sit on the floor with my knees curled up underneath me and still expect to stand up without pain.

24. Your favorite lunch meal?
* Spinach-veggie wrap from Jason’s.

25. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
* I avoid that place.

26. Beach or lake?
* Beach

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
* Nott at all.

28. Do you own property?
* Technically speaking, the bank owns most of it. But we’re working on it.

29. Favorite Guilty pleasure?
* You-Tube

30. Favorite movie?
* I couldn’t possibly pick one favourite.

31. What’s your favorite drink?
* Dr. Pepper

32. Cowboys or Indians?
* Cowboys. Because once I was the Indian, and I was tied to the stake and left there while the boys who tied me to the stake went in and had lunch.

33. Cops or Robbers?
* Cop. ‘Cause my mom was one.

34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
* No one. We moved too much for me to really get close to anyone at school.

35. What radio station is your car tuned to?
* I actually listen to CDs in the car rather than the radio.

36. Norm or Cliff?
* Never watched the show.

37. Grey’s or ‘The Office?
* Never watched either.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
* No comment

39. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
* Yes, I love this little computer – it keeps me connected to the world around me, as I work alone in an office.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
* Angelina Jolie

41. Indoors or Outdoor?
* I like both – depends on the weather – I LOVE to be inside during bad weather, and outdoors when it’s nice and mild.

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
* No. But the pizza delivery guy who ran the red light did a good job of crashing it for me.

43. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
* Nope. I did extinguish a kitchen fire with baking soda, when I was in junior high school, IIRC.

44. Last book you read?
* Prince of Darkness, by Barbara Michaels.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
* While sitting ON the toilet.

47. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
* Yucca Valley. I have family there.

48. Do you go to a house of worship?
* Yes.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
* New career.

50. How old are you?
* I think I’m 26 this year. Isn’t that the age I chose?

Grits and Stuff

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Harry Potter

I know I just waxed rhapsodic about grits only a few weeks ago, but this is imperative. See, since I don’t have to go back to work until Monday (I love saying that on a Thursday morning), I had time for a leisurely breakfast. Well, that is, a leisurely breakfast after I got up at 6:45 to find that Scout decided he couldn’t wait for me to wake up and let him go outside to tinkle and he tinkled in the bedroom, and after I left the house at 7:30 to take 40 minutes to drive 16 miles to the spay and neuter clinic, and after he tried to slip his collar at the clinic, and after he was shaking so violently that my whole body was vibrating while I held him.

Anyway, the point is, that after all that I had time for a leisurely breakfast. And there just happens to be a Cracker Barrel not too far from there. So I had an egg, 2 slices of bacon, a biscuit with apple butter, and a lovely little bowl of grits.

I realize people who don’t understand the goodness that is grits can make fun of them, find them weird or disgusting. And that’s okay with me. The fewer grits they eat, the more there is for those of us who truly appreciate them. And you really do have to doctor them up. I mean, a bowl of grits with no salt and pepper and butter is just gluey ick. But after you add the salt, pepper, and butter, and stir madly until the butter melts, they’re just wonderful. Mmmmm. Grits.

Every time I think of grits, I remember a story my Dad tells about a Yankee lady he once saw in a diner in Georgia. The waiter asked if she wanted grits, and she said that she’d never had grits before, but wouldn’t mind tasting one. 

So I’ve been to the clinic, and don’t have to go back until 3 to pick him up. I’ve had breakfast. I went to the pet store; I went to Target to get batteries; I went to Barnes & Noble and spent part of my gift card. I’m home for about 15 minutes, and then I’m off again. I need to go to the dollar store (L-squared is responsible for turning me into a dollar store addict, by the way, and I’m thankful. I love only paying a dollar for a 6-pack of the same scrubbing sponges that would cost me $4 anywhere else), the thrift shop (need costumes for Jehara’s party), the grocery store, the hospital to visit a friend (which reminds me of last night’s Law & Order episode–did y’all see that?!?), and the clinic to pick the dog back up.  You might notice that neither the laundromat nor the movie is listed here–that’s because the amount of things I need to do has, as always, expanded to fill more than the time allotted to it. That’s okay. There’s always Friday.

Molly has been a little forlorn since I’ve been home, wondering where Scout is. I’m actually not sure if she’s forlorn because he’s not here, or forlorn because she thinks we got rid of him and is wondering if she’s next.

And speaking of doggie accidents (although it’s never an accident; they do it deliberately, trust me), I went to the pet store and bought a black light to help me detect the remnants of those accidents. I can’t find where he went in the bedroom last night, and there’s somewhere in the living room or kitchen that I haven’t found. And rather than crawl along the floor sniffing in an attempt to find the unmistakeable and distinctly disgusting concentrated aroma of dog pee, I’d rather use the black light. The trainer told us, though, that we will get completely grossed out the first time we use it. So not looking foward to that!

I’ve been listening to Jim Dale’s reading of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in the car. I cracked up during the description of when the trio took the polyjuice potion to turn into Crabbe, Goyle, and what Hermione thought would be Millicent Bulstrode. Dale pronounces the word “booger” like boo-ger instead of buh-ger. Okay, you probably had to have heard it and had my inane sense of humour to find it funny, but it was. I giggled about that for at least ten minutes. Not non-stop giggling, just sporadic giggling. And just for the record, I prefer the word “bogey.”

I met with my bishop at church on Tuesday evening. In the course of our conversation, I told him that I was weird, and he quickly told me that I was not weird. I think if he read this blog post, he’d change his mind.

Poetry Month: Day 24

Child

Your clear eye is the one absolutely beautiful thing. I want to fill it with color and ducks, The zoo of the new Whose name you meditate – April snowdrop, Indian pipe, Little Stalk without wrinkle, Pool in which images Should be grand and classical Not this troublous Wringing of hands, this dark Ceiling without a star. Sylvia Plath