Just Wondering

I know someone who recently left his job. No explanation was made other than he was moving on to something different. This guy was extremely, incredibly unpopular. I almost never heard anyone say a good thing about him, and I heard plenty of people express their frustrations from dealing with him.  I didn’t know enough about him to feel one way or the other. There were times when he was an arrogant asshole exerting his power over me, but there were other times when he was fantastic to deal with.

So he’s been on my mind this morning. I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to be the most unpopular person in one’s group. As far as anything I ever saw, he handled it pretty well. But I again have to stres that I didn’t have that much to do with him, so I’m not even seeing as much of the picture as others did.

When I was a kid, 6th grade being the worst of it, I was the most hated kid in my class. I was a year younger than everyone else, skinny, scrawny, weird, smart. I remember it only too well. But that was a long time ago.

So here’s this guy who’s an adult, has a family, and for him it’s almost like my 6th grade experience. Must really suck. He can’t be oblivious to the fact that he’s hugely unpopular. How does he deal with it? Does he see what he does that makes him so unpopular, or does he think everyone else is at fault?

My intent here isn’t to criticize. I’m genuinely curious. I feel sorry for him, and hope that he does better at his next place.  I think he has tremendous potential, and if he can channel his aggression in a way that will let it be a tool for him instead of a negative trait, he will yet work wonders.

Other Things I’m Wondering

• Why did Molly pee on the rug in the bedroom last night instead of using the pee pad I always leave for her by the back door? Was she punishing me for not getting up right then to let her out? And why did she poop on the floor right next to her pee pad during the night while I was asleep? Was I still being punished? I mean, those pee pads are huge. She has room to do all her business. (She is usually really good about not even using them, but when I get home late or while Joe’s traveling and I refuse to get up at 2 a.m. to let her go outside and play, she does use the pads.)

• Why can’t Joe and I have a normal conversation right now? He didn’t call me last night, and instead of being sensible and calling him, I pouted. And then this morning I called and said, “So I guess you don’t miss me very much, huh?”

• Why can’t I sleep at night when I exercise in the evenings? It’s annoying. Here I am, doing something healthy for myself, and then I lay awake until all hours of the morning. And when the alarm goes off I want to cuss at it and turn it off and pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep, but instead I have to get up and drag my lazy butt to work.

• Why are cupcakes so dang tasty?

Vick

Last night while I was madly going as fast and furiously as I could on the elliptical machine at the gym, I saw on the television some athlete talking about how everyone’s making such a big fuss out of such a minor thing, pertaining to Vick and his hobby of dogfighting.  Basically he was saying that people who object to that are being ridiculous, and Vick just needs to apologize and all will be forgiven by people who have any sense.

Bull. This man is self-admittedly guilty of treating animals in an incredibly ghastly fashion.  More than apologies is needed. 

If you’d like to make your opinions heard, you can send an email to the NFL commissioner at this link from the Humane Society: https://community.hsus.org/campaign/US_2007_dogfighting_nfl2?rk=s7STRaK1Nbs8W  The Humane Society is desperately trying to stamp out the brutal pratice of dogfighting. There’s nothing sportsmanlike about it.

I have been holding my Molly girl a little tighter these days. I see her trusting innocent eyes looking at me, and cannot figure out how anyone can treat dogs so cruelly.

Shirley Jackson

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Books

Upon noticing that Superfastreader has Shirley Jackson listed as one of her favourite writers, I had to e-mail her and compliment her good taste.  And that got me to thinking about Shirley Jackson.

Most people, if they know of Jackson’s work at all, know her through her infamous short story “The Lottery” or her novel The Haunting of Hill House, which has been adapted–rather poorly–to film. (I say that, and I love the movies, but on their own merits, not as representatives of the novel.)

But if that’s all you know about Shirley Jackson, you’re truly missing out. She was an extraordinary woman, and an even more extraordinary writer.

I first learned about her through her two books about her family life: Life Among the Savages and Raising Demons.  I was a kid, perhaps 7 or 8, and was enchanted by the books and immediately wanted to go be a part of her family so I could have Sally for my sister and play with a srop, whatever a srop was.

When I read “The Lottery,” probably in junior high school, I did not realize the author of that haunting short story was the same Shirley Jackson that I had wanted for a mother. I’m not sure when I put the pieces together, but when I finally did, I had to read everything she ever wrote. I wanted to know her.  So I read and read and read and read. I don’t even think I could pick a favourite among her books, as they each have a unique appeal for me.

I went to the Shirley Jackson website to get the following bibliography of her novels:

The Bird’s Nest. New York: Farrar, Straus, 1954.
The Hangsaman. New York: Farrar, Straus, 1950.
The Haunting of Hill House. New York: Viking,1959.
The Road Through the Wall. New York: Farrar, Straus, 1948.
The Sundial. New York: Farrar, Straus, 1958.
We Have Always Lived in the Castle. New York: Viking, 1962.

She also wrote many more short stories. She was fascinated with the concept of the daemon lover, and wrote some brilliant stories with that theme. She wrote about the peculiarities of racism (“After You, My Dear Alphonse”).

Judy Oppenheimer wrote a marvelous biography of her, Private Demons: The Life of Shirley Jackson. It’s a fantastic look at the life of this haunted woman. I highly recommend it.

Just writing and thinking about her makes me want to go dig out all my Shirley Jackson novels, and go find her collected short stories, and read the biography again. I encourage you to go and do likewise. You will not regret it.

Copying from Soleil…

Your EQ is 153

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you’d have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You’ve got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You’re average. It’s easy to predict how you’ll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities – you’ve either out “Dr. Phil-ed” Dr. Phil… or you’re a dirty liar.

What’s Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

I don’t think I’m a dirty liar, and I loathe Dr. Phil. So something’s definitely wrong here.

Okay, Izzybella, your turn to do something that I can copy!