The slowness of my recovery is wearisome. I know I’ve griped about it before, but bear with me (or don’t) while I gripe about it again. I fully expected to at least be back to working full time the Monday after my Friday surgery. Instead I was barely up to half-days the Thursday after my Friday surgery. Then I was back to full time last Monday, a full week after my surgery.
Yesterday I had a 7:30 p.m. Juarez writers meeting to go to. When I got home from work at 4:30, Joe and I chatted about some things, then he took me out for Thai. I then went to Barnes and Noble and got a yummy new journal to keep my MoMentuM notes in and headed off to the meeting. After getting home around 10ish, I was so worn out it just wasn’t even funny. And today I’m still incredibly exhausted.
Fortunately, I don’t have any more evening plans until Sunday evening, when M. is coming over for dinner and a brainstorming session, so I’ve got plenty of time to relax and get ready for the next late evening. It’s just frustrating as all get-out that it’s taking me such a dreadfully long time to get back up to 100%! Of course, I suppose in all fairness to myself, I must realize that prior to the scare I was going at least 150% or more.
However, there is a lot of work to be done on this next show. I’ve been doing a lot of research, trying to track down as many names and as much information on the victims as I can find. I’ve created a database and have been entering all the information I can find so it will be usable. And I’m writing one scene myself and co-writing another scene. I’m also on the lobby display team, which is pretty time consuming. And, of course, I’m acting in the show. We’re now having writers meetings every Monday night, and rehearsals begin on June 18th. I’ve got to get myself back up to speed by then!!
It is such a fantastic feeling to be involved with MoMentuM. I love the people I get to work with; I love the projects we work on; and I love the feeling of actually doing something besides going to work and going home and sitting on my ass. I’m a part of something, and I contribute something unique to the mix, and it’s amazing.
I have no control over whether anyone ever reads a word I write, so sometimes my writing seems a little futile, yet I continue to write because I must. It’s like breathing, something that I do because I am. But writing is a solitary thing. I enjoy it nonetheless, and sometimes because of that very fact. I like, though, having MoMentuM force me out of my little hermit crab shell.
I mentioned the research a little earlier. So far I’ve found more than 300 names of victims of violence in Juarez, more than 300 women, girls, infants who have been murdered. I’ve gotten 219 entered into my database. If you read the details of how they were killed and tortured, on the few for whom I’ve been able to find details, it would make you sick. Drowned in paint thinner. Stabbed 16 times. Body arranged in the shape of a cross. Deep bruises to the abdomen. Body decomposed so that cause of death was impossible to ascertain. Furthermore, there is a 10-year statute of limitations on murder in Mexico. Cases get held up until the statute of limitations has expired, and then they are never solved. There is no need.
Something is rotten in Ciudad Juarez.