I studied Spanish for three years in high school and one year in college. Y yo puedo hablar solamente un poquito de Espanol. Puedo leer mas que yo puedo hablar, pero no es mucho. I know a few scattered phrases. I can pronounce things properly. I know how to say I have a headache. Comprende?
I studied French for the equivalent of two years in college–one year of intensive French. Et je ne peut parler le francais avec mon mari, ni avec ne personne. I know a few scattered phrases. I can pronounce a fair amount of things properly. I have developed a great love for French music. I like to read in French, but it’s vastly beyond my comprehension. Even Le Petit Prince or Winnie il Pu is too tough; I can get the gist, but miss the finer things. I know how to say I have to go to the bathroom right now (J’ai envie de fair peepee tout de suite!–at least, according to my professor, in case you were wondering). Comprends-tu?
It’s very frustrating to have spent so much time in attempting to learn something that gives me so much pleasure, and yet it’s virtually wasted because I haven’t taken the time to take the study of the languages far enough to become really fluent, nor have I taken the time to keep up with what I did learn.
But there are soooooooo many things tugging at me. Writing. Acting. Reading. Getting healthy. Work. Home. My husband. And I have only so many hours in the day. How can I possibly find enough time to do all the things that I desire to do? I’m not 19 anymore. I no longer have the capacity to stay up until 3 a.m. and still get up at 6 a.m.
There’s a Rod Stewart song I love, even while I feel it berating me. “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger. I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was stronger.”