Just thinking about things

I’ve been reading some books about strengthening one’s marriage lately. Every now and then I have to take a look at myself, see where I stand, and see where I need to make some attitude adjustments.  The perfect marriage doesn’t exist, if I define perfection by no disagreements, no hardships, no frustrations, no clashes due to any reason.

But maybe I’ve been spending too much time thinking about all the ways that I’m hurting, and not enough time thinking about ways to count my blessings and be happy.  Maybe I’ve not spent enough time thinking about how I can help my husband be happier at home. It’s not like it’s any secret that he likes to have the house neat and orderly. And honestly, I do too. I’d just rather have someone else do the work to make it neat and orderly.

Yesterday I read a comment about Brigham Young thinking that the ideal day consisted of 8 hours’ work, 8 hours’ recreation, and 8 hours’ sleep. I had to laugh, because that’s so not how my typical days go. I’m already in the debit column on the recreation side of things by the time I get home from work. Well, that is, unless you count my hour and a half daily commute as recreation.  Now that Lolo no longer commutes with me, I’m back to listening to books on CD as I travel, so I suppose that would count at least a little bit in the recreation column. It also usually keeps me interested enough in what I’m listening to that I don’t scream and cuss out the drivers on the road who don’t drive exactly as I want them to, which is also a bonus.

And then I had to take a step back again. The reason my yucky house takes up so much of my recreation hours–in addition to the obvious fact that I’m away from the home a little over 10 hours a day–is because I’m a slob. And now that I’ve been actually working to get things orderly, get rid of clutter, clean, etc., it’s taking a lot of time because I’m making up for a long time of slobitude.

I know I’ve mentioned before how much watching the show Hoarders helps me. I’m not anywhere near the degree of hoarding that the people on that show are, but watching their struggles has helped me see where I’m hanging on to things unnecessarily. So before I get going on a marathon declutter session, I’ll put on an episode of the show (thank you, A&E, for having a few full episodes available to watch online).

The other issue tied up with the hoarding/clutter/decluttering, etc., is bringing things in. I love to decorate homes. I think I’d be a fabulous interior decorator. (I’m also a fabulous personal stylist. Love to dress people.)  But when it comes to my home, it’s like I never know when enough is too much. When we painted the living room, for instance, and completely changed the colour and decor, I kept finding little knickknacks that would be perfect. I think my frequent exclamation was something along the lines of, “This was made for my living room!” And okay, it was, but do I need it? Do I have a place to put it? Is it worth the cost? Because the cost is far more than the few dollars I paid for it. It’s also the cost of looking at a cluttered mantelpiece, the cost of the little dog knocking it onto the floor and breaking it, the cost of having to clean over, above, under, and around it.

In the latest declutter session I did, I went through my guest room. I decided that it’s no longer the Egypt room, and decided that I no longer need to keep stacks and stacks of books on Egypt that I’m not going to read anymore. So all the books went out of the house, and I took them to Half-Price Books. I got a few sheckels in return–nothing even close to the value of the books–but it worked out beautifully compared to the value of having that much less clutter. I also took all the Egyptian decorations off the walls and shelves, and took them to Goodwill, along with a huge bag of clothing that needed to be removed from my closet. I know what colour I’m going to paint that room, and normally I would by now be looking for accent pieces (artwork, knickknacks, etc.). But I’m learning that I don’t really want to. Yes, I would love to have a nice piece of art to hang on the wall when the room gets painted, and I feel confident that in time I will find something. But I don’t want things all over the place in there. I want that room to be clean and tidy.

I know that for anyone who knows me, or who has read my blog, knows that I’m always talking about decluttering but never do it. It’s actually getting done this time. I’m taking my time, but I’m being a lot more ruthless.  Last Saturday, f’rinstance, I took three black trash bags stuffed full of clothes & other things that are still good but that I don’t need to Goodwill, along with a large woven beach bag full of things, and one more paper trash bag full of things. I also took a bag full of books to Half-Price Books (the Egypt books had already gone earlier in the week). That pretty much totaled a car full of things that had been in my house and were now gone.

I also–much to the dismay of my husband–got a huge binder that holds all our DVD’s, and put them into the binder, discarding the cases. Now there is one place for all our DVD’s, and they’re not scattered over three rooms in the house (living room, bedroom, & guest room). He asked me if I’d at least alphabetized them, so we’d be able to find what movie we were looking for without having to go through the whole binder. Well, no, I didn’t. It seemed like a waste of time. How many times have I alphabetized all our DVD cases, only to have them out of order within a matter of days? And how many times have I picked up a DVD case and opened it, only to find that it was either empty or had a different DVD in it? Now everything is in one place. And it takes up much, much less room than the two DVD towers we own and the third DVD tower that I was about to buy because there wasn’t enough room for them all in the two DVD towers we already own.

Being a slob sucks. Being a reforming slob sucks only slightly less, but will pay off when I’m no longer a reforming slob, but an actual former slob!

I’m also finding that the more things that I get out of my house, the more peaceful it feels inside my house.

Why yes, I am the oldest.

Two blupdates in one day? I must be an over-achiever!!!

We had to submit our self-assessment today at work as part of our annual performance review. How the heck do you do that? What if I’m out in la-la-land? What if I think I’m 4’s & 3’s on everything, but my manager thinks I’m 2’s and 3’s? Or worse!

You might think you’ll come out better if you rate yourself lower in some categories than you think you really deserve. But that could shoot you in the butt too. I mean, if I say I’m 2’s & 3’s, but I’m really 3’s & 4’s, what if they leave it low, figuring if I’m too dumb to know better?

I’m very much type A. I think that I can and must do everything, no matter how difficult or complicated.  I learn fast, and I work fast. I’m also very impatient with things that are not quick. Ask Izzybella.  We were leaving the restaurant on Friday.  I’m out the door and halfway to my car, when I realized she was still just coming out of the door. She says I do that all the time. I get out of the car and I’ll be halfway down to wherever we’re headed while she’s just then shutting her car door and making sure it’s locked.

I think my friends are not ungrateful for my knee problems (not to say they’re glad of it, because they’re not because they love me despite my many idiosyncracies and they don’t want me to hurt), because for once I’m the one asking them to slow down, as I hobble painfully around the mall.

So yeah, I was the first one to submit my performance review to my boss. And yeah, I gave myself 3’s and 4’s. And you know what? Some of the 3’s I really thought should be 4’s. 

Wonder what she’ll think.

Note: I just did spell-check. The word I was worried I spelled wrong wasn’t, but then I had a typo in another place. Just goes to show you.

Ha-ha! You’re so funny . . . not.

Last night I read something that a friend had linked to on Facebook. She prefaced the link by saying that if you are a member of (my faith) or a fan of (a particular book series), and can’t laugh at yourself, don’t click the link. I appreciated the warning, but while I am of this faith, and not a fan of that book, I do have the ability to laugh at myself.  So I clicked through and read the posts that had my friends laughing hysterically.

Me? I didn’t find it particularly funny. I don’t think it was a gentle poking fun at my faith, but rather a skewering of my faith combined with a crude analysis of the author’s motives and subtext in the books s/he wrote.  Yes, some of the points made about the book series in question were valid, and a few of them were funny. But some of them weren’t valid, in my opinion (and anyone has the right to disagree with me), and were just ugly.

Does that mean I don’t have a sense of humour, because I can’t laugh at someone crapping all over things I hold to be sacred? I actually find a lot of things funny. In fact, I have the sense of humour of a 13-year-old boy, and frequently make jokes that completely crack me up.

If you took the context of my faith out of the material I read last night, and substituted any other group (gays, democrats, republicans), the people who oppose those groups would be saying the same thing. “Oh, they can’t laugh at themselves, but we who are not in their group find this hysterically funny.” Meanwhile, the people in those groups would be feeling a range of emotions, varying from “ha-ha, they think it’s funny and I don’t want to be classified as humourless so I’d better pretend to laugh” to “they are putting down (my group) and this cannot be tolerated! they are haters!”

The fact is that people disagree, rather a lot, and that’s okay. I resent being told, however, that if I don’t like something someone writes about my faith, that I don’t have a sense of humour, and, ergo, something is wrong with me. I’m not going to sit here and put down other people’s cherished beliefs, and disguise it under the label of humour. It’d be nice if they returned the favour.

EDITED TO ADD: I just realized that I may have come across as sounding annoyed that my friends find something humourous that I find offensive. That’s not the case at all. I apologize if I gave that impression.

this, that, & t’other

Lolo, I tried, honest I did. I got up when you texted me. And Joe got up. And I summoned up my inner vampire slayer and got dressed, and went to Voldemart. And I got in there, and found you, and stood there for what, 20 minutes? And I had to get out. Joe got sidetracked by a toy he wanted to get someone, and tried to get me to stay with him. Alas, my inner vampire slayer is somewhat–is agoraphobic the right word? We shall pretend it is, if it’s not–agoraphobic, and had to bolt forthwith. A few minutes in the car and all was fine. I sat there and waited for Joe, who came out with a little more than the toy, but nothing we hadn’t discussed.

The rest of my day was fairly uneventful, and I like it that way.  Spent 4 hours at work, had lunch at California Pizza Kitchen with the Incomparable Izzybella (the veggie spring rolls were delicious, as was the tostada pizza). Then we moseyed over to World Market and got a few stocking stuffers for each other, and meandered through Target. This is the Target we traditionally go to on Black Friday Afternoon, as it’s pretty much as crowded (or not) as a normal Target on any given day.  We also traditionally see a movie on Black Friday, and our timing was such that we decided to see “The Blind Side” because it started at the right time and because the trailers looked pretty good. The trailers were right–we both really liked the movie. 

And now I’m home, really tired and wanting to sleep. I’ve got a lot of things to get done around the house this weekend, and since Joe’s home to help, I’m optimistic. No leftovers from yesterday–Joe put the turkey in along with everything else, and foolishly left it on the kitchen table while he went to wash up or something (I wasn’t home when this happened). Scout is very sly, devious, and agile, and devoured the entire box of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing & yams. Joe was cheesed off. And Scout? Well, he just keeps getting fatter and fatter.

one more!

apparently the most discriminating deatheaters are vegans.

even spiral diner isn’t safe from their nefarious intentions on taking over the world.

 

oh noes! deatheaters hit cosmic cafe!

at least they have good taste…

 

this just in…chauceriangirl imprisoned in azkaban. terminal dorkiness.

more vegany goodness

Remember when I told you about vegan etsy’s “it’s all in the bag” holiday promotion? And how I told you that for only $25 you get a reusable tote filled with all kinds of hand-crafted samples by vegan artisans? And how your $25 is being matched by a Very Generous Anonymous Donor, and all of it is going to an animal sanctuary?

Well! Mine came on Saturday.

I just ordered another one.  Because each little thing I opened has to go to someone specific, and I don’t have quite enough just yet.

And you know, maybe I want a couple of things for myself.

So I think you need to go right now to vegan etsy and buy your own! (all stocking stuffers graciously accepted!) (only you’ll want to keep it all because they’re all so cool) (and they’re worth every penny of that $25 plus the $25 being donated by the VGAD and at least another $25 for sheer coolness) (and they’re vegan and you don’t have to read the labels)  (and all the artists put in their cards and offer nice discounts and you will totally want to support them)

just . . . wow

I saw a woman today who was actually really quite pretty. It took me a while to figure it out, though, because she looked sort of like she’d fallen asleep in Sam Moon’s, and all the little kids there dressed her before she woke up.

She was wearing one of those tunics that have the blank spaces on them, like they were crinkled up when they were dyed, that I completely loathe. But this one was particularly unattractive because it was mainly black and white, but it had a lot of colour on the front, and coloured studs. It barely covered her tuchus, and she wore leggings. She also wore leopard print flats. Her hair was stuffed into a brown crushed velvet looking newsboy cap. She wore largeish silvery fleur-de-lis earrings, and a matching necklace with wooden beads and large fleur-de-lis. And a watch. A big black beaded watch.

All in all, it was a very odd outfit. I give her high kudos, though, for being so completely comfortable in her skin that she wore what she wanted to wear, and enjoyed it.   As I said, she’s quite pretty. She has a lovely smile, and showed it often.

I wish I were more like that. Not in the whole wearing odd outfits, because I do that frequently. But when I see pictures of myself, or catch glimpses in the mirror at just the wrong angle, I cringe inside. I know people come in all different shapes and sizes. Why do I feel like it’s wrong to be my shape and my size? What’s wrong with it anyway? Why can’t I just say okay, I’m round, I am a happy person, and I’ll wear whatever I want to wear.

If you figure it out, would you share the secret with me? ‘kthanxbai

a little bit of this, a little bit of that

I had a fairly uneventful day. It started with breakfast at 7 with dad and the monster–izzybella didn’t make it this morning. Then there was nappage, brought up short by the little dog jumping onto the bed and very noisily chewing a plastic bottle into shreds.

The library–I had a little bit of a fine to pay but nothing too terrible–and I checked out two books for me and 8 books on weddings for lolo. Well, they’re for me to read, but the wedding is all lolo.

Then I meandered out Dallas way, stopping at Sam Moon (one cute smallish purse, a chain for my amethyst, and a very cute necklace set) and Moon’s LDS bookstore (a dvd, 2010 calendar, a few other things that don’t come to mind right now). I drove over by the temple and sat in the parking lot for a while, praying and thinking about things, before I had to leave to meet Amethyst at Cosmic Cafe.

I know I promised photos, but my camera phone doesn’t have a flash, and it was darkish inside. But it was good, and it was good to spend some time with Amethyst. She’s a pretty amazing person. She’s very warm and accepting of others, and she’s a very gifted artist and teacher. She needs good things to happen in her life.

Then I got lost on the way home and somehow managed to end up in Grapevine before I knew where I was instead of Irving where I was expecting to find myself. It was a really odd feeling, like someone picked up my car and gently set it down in another town. I stopped at the farmer’s market for some fruit (honeycrisp apples, texas ruby grapefruit, satsumas) and veggies, and was delighted to see that they have some completely vegan black bean and corn tamales! Yes! I get to have tamales at Christmas! Woot! Then a quick stop at Half-Price Books, my home away from home, where I found a CD/DVD case that holds 400 discs; it will solve several of my problems in one fell swoop. And another quick stop at Kroger for the vegan black-bean chipotle burgers Lolo and I have been craving, and some vanilla silk, and the organic chocolate chips for the cupcakes that I’ll be making tomorrow.

The dogs were delighted to see me at home. Molly was on the loveseat by the front door and Scout was jumping all over the place. I smelled an unpleasant smell, but it took me a few minutes to find it. When I did find it, the guilty party crept down the hall and under the bed. I cleaned it up and told her she wasn’t in trouble, and gave her some kisses and booty scratches, and she felt better.

While I was sitting in the parking lot of the temple, I was reminded of when Joe and I went there to be sealed. For those of you who aren’t LDS, it means that we made wedding covenants that seal us together forever, for time and all eternity. It’s a big commitment that you make, a covenant not only between the two of you, but with Heavenly Father.   I have let myself stray away from what I believe and love. I felt today kind of like one of the five foolish brides. I haven’t had enough oil in my lamp. With a lit lamp, I can be ready for the bridgroom, and shine his light into the darkness. I want that feeling back again.